This is probably going to come as a shock to a lot of people out here: love isn’t always for everyone. Not all of us walk around with the image of Prince Charming in our heads, and some of us are absolutely okay with not grabbing on to a marriage-material-boyfriend the first chance we get.
Maybe, you just got out of a long-term relationship and don’t want to get emotionally invested in another person, yet. Maybe you want to see what’s out there before zeroing in on the love of your life. Or maybe your philosophy is that life will hand you all the different flavours of ice-creams and you gotta take a spoonful of every one that comes your way – who said you gotta have ONE favourite, anyway? That’s what flings are for! No matter your reason for a fun and casual relationship, here are some of the important rules you have to keep in mind before you start a fling.
1. Be very honest about your intentions
You can’t afford to not be on the same page at the very beginning of a fling! Explain, very clearly, to your partner what you intend to steer clear of any relationship territory. Proceed to have a fling if (and ONLY IF) both of you agree on the terms.
2. Steer clear of close friends
Having a fling with one of your closest friends is the relationship equivalent to jumping out of a burning airplane without a parachute. Everyone knows that flings are meant to be temporary and if it’s with someone whose friendship you treasure (your safety net), the end of that fling is going to leave you both devastated (crashed and burnt).
3. Exes are a big no-no!
Yes, we know it sounds like the most enticing offer on the table, but believe us when we say you don’t want to get into a fling with your ex under any circumstances. You may tell yourself you won’t let it get out of hand, but you can’t risk your emotions. You remember what happened to Monica and Richard from FRIENDS, don’t you?
4. Protection is your top priority
Of course, protection is ALWAYS a top priority, but the case is stronger for when you’re having casual sex with someone. Since you and your partner have mutually decided to not be exclusive, multiple sex partners carry the risk of unforeseen STDs and you’re better off not worrying about those. Condoms FTW!
5. Best to leave the family out of the equation
Since you’re not hoping for your partner to stay in your life long-term, it doesn’t make sense to involve your family members in your temporary arrangement. You can definitely do without the awkward explanation to “Oh, what happened to your boyfriend?” questions once the fling is over.
6. Specify crystal clear ground rules
People want different things out of every relationship, including casual relationships and flings. While some maintain the rule of having just sex with the person involved, there are others who don’t mind an occasional dinner or movie thrown in. There are even others who go on to maintain a cordial and stable friendship with their fling-buddies. It’s up to you to talk it out and decide which route it is that you wish to take.
7. Walk out when it’s time
The beauty of a fling is the ability to bring it to an end when you can’t work with the arrangement anymore. Keep in mind that your wellbeing comes first, no matter what, and you don’t owe anything but your end of the deal.
The second you feel this isn’t going according to plan or that you’re done with it, be bold enough to pull the brakes on the fling. Immediately.
8. Don’t go overboard with your emotions
There’s no place for jealousy or insecurity in a fling. If you’re mature enough to get into a no-strings-attached situation, you got to be equally mature in handling the repercussions of the same. Being clingy, needy, overwhelming the person with gestures of love and affection can all be clamouring alarm bells going off in your relationship. Keep emotions in check, and if you can’t – leave.
9. Decide how to move on
Here’s a sincere word of advice: don’t leave the fling in flames. Be forward with your partner and end things amicably, in a way that you both can part ways like civil and responsible adults. Maintain boundaries and let them know if you’d still like to keep in touch or depart for good. Honour your word, and you’ll have one less negative relationship in your past.
10. Have fun with it!
This may not be a rule, but it’s also something that most people forget when getting into a fling. You are a strong, independent woman who is in charge of her life, on all fronts. So, why not go ahead and have a blast while you’re at it? Enjoy your time with your partner and remember: as long as you’re not hurting those around you, you are 100% entitled to living life by your rules!
Images: Giphy, Unsplash
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