As someone who grew up spending more time on the internet than engaging with people in real life, the idea of talking to strangers on dating apps never really sounded appealing to me. I grew up texting my crushes a demure ‘Hi’ over FaceBook, Messenger, Orkut and whatnot, long before I had the guts to speak to them in person. There was a time during my teenage when I was having the time of my life texting and flirting with boys. So, by the time dating applications became big, I was already kind of bored of communicating with people online.
Unfortunately, it soon dawned on me that I need to perhaps get over my shyness and learn how to speak to people in real life if I would like to find a potential partner. After all, you can’t expect your future partner to bust down your apartment door and find you while you casually decide not to exist on dating apps (or the real world for that matter) right?
So, I decided that it was time to take matters into my own hands and go out to meet my ‘soulmate,’ (if such a thing even exists anymore). I set out to explore 4 destinations in Delhi to see what it is like in today’s day and age to find love in an old-fashioned meet-cute kinda way.
First, I went to a bookstore
Since this was my first destination, I was incredibly nervous. Also, I wasn’t sure how likely it’d be to find someone of interest at a bookstore. The only places I’ve seen anything like this happening are books and soap operas. Yet, here I was on my way to Faqir Chand bookstore to test my faith in the universe. The first 15 minutes went by awkwardly cruising the store. I watched as people entered with their friends, and tried to start a conversation but felt like a total outsider. A group of guy friends were looking at the mythology section for quite a while and I wondered if I could strike up a conversation with one of them. But, I soon realised I wasn’t interested in any of them like that and I was probably only pressuring myself to approach them because of this goal of mine. Then I spotted a cute, tall guy roaming around with a couple of other people whom I was interested in speaking to, but, he seemed to be accompanying a girl and I had no intention of being a third party to anyone, so there went that candidate.
In about 5 more minutes, I noticed a fairly tall man wearing a crisp white t-shirt and a pair of Nike Air Monarchs right next to me, also looking at the mythology section. I knew I had to talk to him, ‘C’mon Harshita have some f*cking balls‘ I thought to myself. ‘Your shoes are really nice,’ I said. The next thing I knew, the guy replied and said ‘Thanks’ and we got to ask each other about the kind of books we were looking for. He was even kind enough to engage in the conversation and take it a little further by asking if he should start reading the Bhagavad Geeta’s English translation. Soon we shook hands, and he asked me my name, while introducing himself as, let’s call him, D. You probably think that this meet-cute had a bright future, but that was all D and I talked about. He paid for his book and left from the front end of the bookstore while I moved out the back end. I wish I had it in me to ask for his number, but I didn’t know whether he was with someone or not and didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. So even though we never took the conversation further, I can now recommend the bookstore as a great place to find love, because there is potential here girls, there really is.
Next up, a coffee shop
The problem with coffee shops is that it’s a favourite for couples in Delhi—especially the small, boutique ones. As I ordered myself a spiced hot chocolate, I looked around to see if there were any cute, single men also in the queue to order. But nope. Not at all. I took a seat and tried to read to show my availability for a casual conversation (as opposed to always having earphones in and appearing like a closed-off resting-b*tch-faced coffee shop regular). But once again, small coffee shops are usually group and couple-oriented spots, and so, I only saw women or couples there. They sat briefly before leaving to take a stroll in the market, so there wasn’t even a 5-minute window where I could approach a person or vice-versa. Maybe If I had gone to a Starbucks or a Third Wave, I’d have better chances at spotting someone to talk to, but not here, not at a small coffee shop.
The grocery store seemed like the next best spot
You know how TikTok influencers began joking about looking for their soulmates in the hardware store, well I decided to do something similar. Though, I am not quite sure if it was the right or most accurate place to find love. For my third destination, I went to the grocery store, Le Marche, to find love but the only thing I found was a relatively empty store and some pretty solid ingredients to make a chicken sandwich. No lie here, I found some sourdough bread, great chicken salami and some nice mayonnaise as well but no cute guy to talk to. To be quite honest I walked around the store feeling like a total lost cause and wondering if the store employees were starting to suspect me, that I wasn’t there to buy anything but to look for men to talk to (have I become my own worst nightmare? I promise I wasn’t being creepy and crossing people’s boundaries in any way).
Surprisingly, there was no one to talk to at this particular store. I even joked to myself about how the lack of men in a grocery store is a reflection of how little most men participate in household decisions. I mean, really, where were the men?! I was there between 7-9 pm there should’ve been someone to talk to! (If anyone knows a particular grocery store I should hit up next to find someone, please let me know, I am open to suggestions.)
Last but not least, the gym
The gym wasn’t my first choice to find someone special, because I am usually way too intimidated by the men there to even see them that way. Of course, it’s a place full of conventionally attractive men, but that isn’t something I usually gravitate towards, at least not at first (I know I sound like a pretentious prick when I say this but I am almost adamant about being letting conventional good looks get the best of me). But, I was surprised at how truly heartwarming and helpful gym bros actually are! I mean, as intimidating as they appear to be, they’re actually some of the most baby-girl-coded men out there. I can’t say that I remember talking to a particular person at the gym who got me interested romantically, it was more like a couple of men I interacted with who were super nice about how to do arm presses and sharing various gym equipment. Maybe I didn’t want to ruin my comradeship with my fellow gym-goers, so I never really took any conversation to the point of exchanging numbers, but in all honesty, the gym is a pretty decent place to find a significant other.
So basically, this was just the beginning, and it seems there is a lot of potential to find love out and about. I am full of hope (if not for myself, then for others) that love or a romantic relationship is quite possible to find without dating apps. So, join me as I continue to look for a special someone on my escapades around town!
