Shower sex apparently seems to be very passionate and sexy but in reality, it is quite the opposite. It seems all hot and wet and the thought of the two of you taking turns to lather each other up feels effortless. Many couples encounter funny and awkward moments when they shower together and here are a few things that NEVER happen during shower sex.
1. Expectation: We will balance ourselves!
Reality: You guys will slip!
Standing in a shower together with soap everywhere, of course, increases the chances of slipping and falling. So no matter how hard you both try, you both will have moments of trying to hold on to each other and prevent falling!
2. Expectation: We both will manage in this much space.
Reality: You end up ramming into each other!
If you both are making out in a small shower cubicle, it gets difficult to manage in that much space. Even if you both are quite close to each other, there will come a time when one of you would hit your elbow on your partner’s chin since you both are trying to adjust.
3. Expectation: He will manage to hold me against the wall
Reality: He will get tired in a minute!
Trying to lift you up and hold you against a wall which is wet and slippery for more than a minute is not quite feasible. Thus, you both would end up, once again, trying to find a comfortable position in the shower!
4. Expectation: Water is a natural lubricant.
Reality: Water is NOT a lubricant!
Nothing can dry you up faster than water! And thus, the expectations of water being a natural lubricant during shower sex is just a farce!
5. Expectation: Blowjob in the shower is so easy!
Reality: It is almost nothing less than waterboarding yourself!
A blowjob in the shower is somewhat unpleasant. Kneeling on a wet and slippery ground and then having water running into your eyes and mouth makes it impossible for you to see and sometimes, even breathe!
6. Expectation: We both will be under the shower
Reality: There will be room for only one under the shower
More often than not, there isn’t enough space for the both of you to be under the shower together. Thus, you both would need to constantly change places which would end up with one of you starting to feel cold because of the constant coming in and out of the water.
7. Expectation: Soap will not go in the wrong parts!
Reality: Soap would go in places you don’t want!
Lathering each other up with soap and washing each other could surprise you with a sudden pain and burning feeling in the wrong parts of your body, disrupting your session of making out in the shower.
8. Expectation: You come at the same time
Reality: You don’t come at all!
Since you both would be constantly changing positions, trying to adjust yourselves to reach a comfortable position, the chances of you both enjoying the moment together are very rare. The struggle of not slipping and holding on to each other dilutes half the fun of shower sex!
9. Expectation: Standing works best!
Reality: The height difference comes in between
Trying to manage a comfortable sex position whilst standing in the shower together is quite difficult and thus the only way possible for him is to lift you up which could also result in you slipping and falling.
10. Expectation: You both shift the action to the bedroom
Reality: You realise it’s not quite working out!
When you both suddenly realise that it’s better to shift the location to the bedroom and continue your makeout session in the comfort of your own room. Plus, this whole shower sex situation has taken up quite a lot of your time and you need to get on with the day as well.
GIFs: Giphy
