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8 Weird Sex Products That You Wouldn’t Believe Exist, We Are Still Processing

Kinks come differently to all of us, so that’s one thing. As weird as some of them can sound, we cannot call them that exactly. However, there are other weird sex things that exist that we MUST address. Sex products that are weirdly shaped is part of it, but there are also other products that do things we didn’t know could be done. The world is an intriguing place, we just manage to make it unreal.

Like how we managed to do it with these products:

1. A (Penis) Wine Stopper

Drinking wine is going to get weird for y’all. There is apparently a toy meant to delay ejaculation, enhance erections and prolong pleasure. It is shaped like a wine stopper, and also works a lot like it. The thing is made out of metal and it basically seals the penis with the stopper.

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2. A gel for clitoral arousal

The liquid vibrator is exactly what it sounds, which is surprising but if it does what it is supposed to, then it’s such a gift. The use is simple and quite literally hands-free. Also, this gel is better than most of your exes, with little to no effort required. The only weird part is its existence, because it’s almost unbelievable.

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3. Clone-A-Willy

So yes, you can clone a penis but there’s more to it. With some of these interesting ‘gadgets’ you can actually create glow-in-the-dark penises. The process is simple, you have to cast a mold and you get a willy that glows in the dark. Seriously, we have one less reason to talk to men, each day.

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4. A condom with a scale

Okay, this one is just unnecessary. For some reason, someone thought that there needs to be a condom with ruler marks on it. Size shouldn’t matter… or should it? In any case, the product is called a condometric condom and it’s the first prophylactic that measures the length of a penis.

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5. A vibrator that’s also a periscope.

Someone is really doing a lot of thinking, and we need to give them credit for it. With a vibrating periscope, you can pleasure yourself, but the kick is, that it lets you examine things better. So you know what you like, and you also know what’s where. It’s self-serving and clearly, that’s the only way to seek pleasure as a woman.

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6. Perfumes for the vulva.

This is mostly a PSA to not use these products, because you don’t have to. If you think the smell bothers your partner, the partner is the problem, and not the smell. Unless, of course, there’s a medical concern – in that case, see a doctor. There is no practical or logical need to scent the vulva.

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7. A penis extender sleeve.

Fancy, innit? Like it sounds, this product adds a few more inches to the penis and people may have different opinions on it. This also delays ejaculation for the person wearing it. THIS IS NOT A CONDOM, don’t use it like one.

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8. A heater for the vagina.

It’s cold out there, and this product exists, but just because this exists doesn’t mean that you need to use it. Vaginal heaters are not a good idea, more of the things that are not good for the body. There is also no clear proof that vaginal heating or steaming is safe. These products come in the form of USBs or rods – so you know how to spot them.

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Some good, some just plain unnecessary.

10 Jan 2024

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