Allow us to start by saying, the decision to have sex (or not) is as personal as it can be. No woman should be questioned about her sexual choices and nor do they need to justify anything to anyone. On the internet, there is so much written about ‘being a virgin’ and ‘losing your virginity’ that it can all be hella overwhelming.
Being a virgin is not something that should be celebrated or condemned, it is simply a choice. In purely technical terms, ‘losing your virginity’ means when you have penetrative sex with someone. However, we’d like to remind you that the concept of a woman’s virginity is dated and highly problematic. Sex is a wonderful and intimate experience and neither parties are ‘losing’ or ‘taking’ anything.
We recently decided to ask a few women about what was it like for them to lose their virginity. Some of these stories are heartwarming, some are funny and some are just complicated.
During the first wave of COVID-19, I moved in with my boyfriend. It was my first relationship at the time and he was slightly older. I was 20 and he was 24. So, we had a long discussion about things and just decided to sleep together. I was on my periods at the time and believe it or not that was actually quite helpful. We aren’t together anymore but I still think it was really good. I think having an honest conversation about things really helped us.
—Saumya (name changed), 22
I decided to wait until I was married to have sex. Once I was married and we did the deed, it was a little painful, but mostly fine. I think I was expecting too much, but sometimes I do wonder if I should have experimented more when I was unmarried. Even now I feel very inexperienced and I just never got that ‘firework wali feeling’ from sex.
—Tara (name changed), 27
My first time was with a friend who was a virgin too. We both were awkward and lonely, so decided to give each other a shot. He got a condom and honestly we were so confused about how to put it on. We made a mess of things, eventually, we watched some YouTube videos and figured things out. It was just a funny experience for both of us.
I was dating a great guy back when I was 24 and things appeared pretty good between us. One weekend, we decided to go for a trip to the hills and shared a room for the first time. Things happened but what stayed with me was how gentle he was. I think that just made it all better. I am married to him now!
—Koyal (name changed), 28
Right from the start, I knew I was into women. So when I got into college, I started exploring and joined a few dating apps. Found a wonderful woman on Tinder, and she taught me a lot of things. We used a lot of sex toys during the first time and it was pretty satisfying.
I don’t think it was anything extraordinary. I decided to sleep with a guy just to make him stay in a relationship with me. Didn’t work out. The entire experience feels a little tainted because of it.
First-time sex is rarely what you want it to be but you are not alone. And even if it didn’t meet your expectations…there’s always the next time!
Feature Image Credit: Pexels