The first time I had an orgasm… Well, that was almost two years after I became sexually active. Yes, believe it or not - it is true! I had lost my virginity to my boyfriend of three years and we had been having sex for almost two years when we broke up. Obviously, I was heartbroken and felt extremely upset - but one thing I didn’t miss, and which I was told by many that I would, was sex.
I was told that a major downside of a breakup, apart from all the pain one suffers, is that you don’t get to have sex anymore. At least for a while - or with a steady partner. But that was one thing I just didn’t even think about - because well, I had never really enjoyed it in the first place. It never satisfied me or made me happy. Being physically close with my partner did that, all the hugging and cuddling and kissing - but the sex, it was just something I used to part take in to keep my partner satisfied.
So when after a few months of breaking up I met Kabir, I pretty much thought that the sex we would someday have would be the same. Kabir was, however, older and definitely more experienced - and so I feared that I would have to do a better job of pretending, lest he be able to tell I was faking it!
I wanted to take it slow with him. And that’s exactly what we did. We spent the first three months of our relationship really just getting to know each other. We spent a lot of time together and did a bunch of fun stuff that neither of us had tried before. Our chemistry was great - just as two individuals. We could spend hours just laughing at the most random things, and we never got bored in each other’s company. Of course, there was also a lot of making out involved, but I never really let it proceed to the next level.
When the night finally arrived when I knew I could no longer just keep pushing him away, I was nervous to say the very least. We had just had an amazing evening together and he had come to drop me home. We were making out in the car and I felt an urge to do more. For the first time ever. I wanted to just grab him and take him inside the house. But still keeping my cool (kind of), I asked if he wanted to come in. He looked rather surprised and obviously very happy.
We went in and one by one our clothes were coming off. I was no longer really nervous, because honestly, my urge to just do it with him had completely taken over. Before we knew it, I was on top of him, and we were having sex! Okay, seriously, up until then I had no idea that sex was supposed to feel like this! It felt so good. What had I been doing wrong all this time? Why had I never experienced this mind blowing sensation before?! Oh my god. But I had no time to think about anything anymore, because right then, and by that I mean within 2 minutes of starting to have sex with him, I felt myself scream out in happiness. Oh yes, that happened. I don’t know how to explain what I felt in that moment. I almost felt like I left my body for a second and someone just gave me the best massage in the world - because that’s how good and relaxed I felt. My mind was seriously blown.
Obviously, after that first orgasm, I wanted to have sex with Kabir whenever it was possible. Because why wouldn’t I want to feel that good again?! I obviously don’t think of sex as just some physical activity I have to take part in to keep my partner happy now - I do it to keep myself happy! And now I also understand what all those people were trying to tell me about missing sex after a breakup.