Three years after my boyfriend and I had started seeing each other, we suddenly came to the realization that there was one thing we hadn’t tried - shower sex! We both lived in houses that we were sharing with other people - him with his family, and me with two flatmates. So uninterrupted occupation of the bathroom was not something that had ever come up in the course of things. But once we’d discovered this lack in our sex life, we were determined to remedy it immediately. If it wasn’t going to happen by itself, then we’d just have to create the opportunity!
His house was NEVER empty. It was a sprawling old mansion with common loos, not attached ones. So that wasn’t going to happen. My house it would have to be. Even though I shared my bathroom with my flatmate, she travelled frequently. So one long weekend, when she was off visiting her parents, we settled on trying out The Adventure.
Come Friday night, we started making out as soon as we entered the house, anticipation about this new experience adding an edge to things. We undressed in the bedroom and then moved to the bathroom. We couldn’t stop giggling throughout. We felt like kids out on a big adventure, not mature adults who had, over the years, become thoroughly used to each other’s bodies. Little did we expect then that our adventure was going to be full of misadventures too.
I turned on the shower, and immediately realized that the water was too cold. So we’d have to switch on the geyser and wait for a bit. We headed back out to the bedroom. I fixed us a drink, but conversation was kind of stilted. We were both too conscious of the fact that we were really waiting for the water to heat up. After 15 looooong minutes, I went and checked the water - yep, it was finally warm! I had to spend a few moments turning the knobs to arrive at the optimal water temp, though - what was comfortable for me was too hot for him, what was good for him felt too chilly for me. Eventually we managed to arrive at a temperature that wasn’t all that great, but which neither of us objected to too much.
It was the end of the workday, so we decided that it might actually be a good idea to properly wash up. And I was quite excited at the thought of him washing my hair - it’s something that I absolutely love. He shampooed my hair, gently massaging my scalp as he kissed my neck and ears, and I felt pleasure building up inside me. “My turn,” he whispered into my ear. I poured shampoo into my palms, turned around and ran my fingers through his hair. And he looked so adorable, with the water pouring down his face, that I had to reach up and kiss him.
“Oww, oww!” he exclaimed.
“What happened?!” I squeaked. Not exactly the response I’d been hoping for.
“There’s shampoo in my eyes.”
“Oops, sorrrrry!” I wailed.
He hopped out of the tiny shower stall, started scrubbing his face at the sink. Gah, what a downer! He stepped back in with me a good three minutes later. “At least I didn’t drop any soap and make either of us to slip and fall!” I joked. He rolled his now-red eyes at me and pulled me back into his arms. But as it turned out, I spoke too soon. Something worse happened.
We’d been making out and washing and then scrubbing eyes and stuff for so long that we hadn’t really registered that the water had started turning quite tepid. It was only when the hot water ran out completely and cold water sprayed down on us with full force that we noticed what was up.
“OMFG!” I squealed and scrambled to turn the knobs off. We were shivering by now.
“I think we’ve showered for long enough. Can we just do it now?” he said to me.
As sad as I was about not actually having sex with water pouring down on us, this seemed like a good idea. I was NOT going to wait another 15 minutes for the water to be heated to capacity again, and then have to keep checking if we were likely to run out. And then, of course, we realized that the blast of cold water had completely doused his arousal. I dutifully knelt down on the cold shower floor to, uh, revive things - hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do! ;-)
Finally, we were all set! We high-fived, and then set about the business of unrolling the condom. Except that I was really cold by then and all butter-fingers and managed to tear the condom. He had to go fetch another one from the bedroom and then put it on himself. And then came the awkward business of trying to get into position in the tiny enclosed space.
He finally managed to hoist me up against him. But then he pushed me up too high and I banged my head against the shower head. It was my turn to go “Oww, oww!”
We finally got out of the stall and did it against the sink. It was good, but not as great as we had expected it to be, given how burdened we were by now by the cumulative effect of all the little mishaps..
When we curled up in bed afterwards, nibbling on pizza, he asked, “Can we just stick to the bedroom, babe? And other places that have proper furniture?”
“Yes, PLEASE,” I said to him.
Folks, be advised. Don’t try to have sex in the shower unless you have a five-star hotel sized bathroom. Actually, do try it in a five-star bathroom - they come with bathtubs, and bathtubs are pretty great. And way less challenging than shower stalls. :D