Sexting Mistakes You Are Making Right Now

Sexting Mistakes You Are Making Right Now

A little tingle of excitement every time you look at your phone, a jolt of pleasure when you see someone’s name flashing on the screen - hell, who doesn’t like that? But while you sext your way to your next virtual climax or IRL rendezvous, it’s important to remember that there’s a sexting code of conduct too. And some mistakes to avoid so you don’t: a) look silly; b) find yourself stuck in a situation that you really, really don’t want to be in. Here are 12 sexting mistakes you might be making - BEWARE!

1. Gambling with Grammar

He said: “You're skin is so soft, I wish I could run my fingers down you’re back...”

She said: “I’m not going to respond to this because YOU’RE killing the mood with YOUR abuse of the English language.”

Bad grammar is a libido killer. Please just take our word for this. We want to be titillated, not tortured.

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2. Sending to (Wrong) User

He said: “Last night was so fantastic, Priya. I’m still turned on thinking about it...”

She said: “Hi, Rahul. This is Priya KHANNA. Your aunt. You might want to re-think this message thread.”

Please, PLEASE don’t sext the wrong person. It will be embarrassing for you AND for them. Imagine having to look your aunt or your boss or your college professor in the face after an exchange such as this. Double/triple/quadruple-check name and surname before you hit “Send”.

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3. Being Overcome by Emoticons

He said: “So, what are you wearing? ;-) ... Take it off :P ... Now send me a pic! ;-) :D :P  

She said: “I can’t. The smileys are creeping me out.”

A sext is like a formal email in some ways. You CANNOT fill it up with a long line of emoticons. It’s just not done. Because in our heads we’re not picturing you looking lustfully at us any longer.

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4. Auto-Correct Is NOT Always Your Friend

He said: “I want to play with your beasts and give you many organisms.”

She said: “WTF?”

Need we say more? Most phones dictionaries are by default “safe”, and predictive text tends to play games with people, even with English words. Please read the message you’re sending before you actually send it.

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5. Surprise!!!

He said: “I didn’t get the chance to tell you last night at the party... I’m sooo attracted to you, I wanted to drag you off to a corner and make out with you till we were both hot and sweaty.”

She said: NOTHING. Because she thought: “Ew. I’m sorry I spoke long enough with you to give you my number.”

Please don’t send a sext to someone without testing out the waters first. Flirt a bit. See if they’re receptive. And THEN maybe tell them you’d like do naughty things to them. Do not surprise them by virtually plunging your tongue into their mouth without any notice.

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6. Writing Longform

She said: “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

He said: “Hey, it says: ‘This message was truncated’ – can you resend it?”

It’s a sext, not a contender for the Man Booker prize. Keep it short, please. You want to tease the person you’re messaging, not test their patience.

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7. Writing Shortform

He said: “WIN? GYPO! IAYM and IWSN... LMIRL – I have a K4Y”

She said: “I have NO idea what any of that means.”

It’s a sext, not a cryptic puzzle. Please don’t mess with our heads by making us Google ridiculous acronyms. If you want to say “Want it now? Get your pants off! I am your master and I want sex now... Let’s meet in real life – I have a kiss for you”, please just say that. And please do not ever, EVER type lk dis - cos dat wl NVR gt u laid.

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8. “Stock” Messaging

She said: “See how you make me feel... [Image attached]”

He said: “The timestamp on this picture is from last year. Good to know I’ve been turning you on since before we met.”

Even if you’re just sexting, and it’s not “serious”, remember that at the other end of the connection is an actual individual. Good for you if you have a bunch of photos ready to send out at a moment’s notice, but it’s not going to boost the recipient’s libido (or their respect for you) to know that this is a stock photo you’re trying to pass off as a YOU-make-me-feel-like-this picture. Either stop being so lazy, or add the qualifier that this is from your existing library of “hot shots”.

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9. Stranger Danger

He said: “Can’t wait to meet you in real life... Last night’s chat was so hot, I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”

She(?) said: “LOLOLOL. Dude, you’ve been HAD. I got my girlfriend to fake-match you on Tinder. You’ve been talking to her. HAHAHAHA.”

Unless you are willing to be catfished, you do NOT want to be trash-talking with a complete stranger. Also, seriously, common sense dictates that you meet someone at least ONCE - in a neutral, public space - to figure out if they’re “safe” before you express your willingness to get down and dirty with them. There are plenty of stranger-sexting horror stories out there – please be careful!

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10. Playing at Work

He said: “I’m thinking about you right now. I wish I were f****** you instead of sitting through this boring meeting.”

She said: NOTHING. Because IT said: “This message could not be delivered because it violates the organization’s communications protocol.”

Um, guys? Do NOT sext from your work phone. Because IT is watching. And reporting. And laughing at your expense.

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11. Throwing Discretion to the Wind

He said: “Morning, gorgeous. I could use some help down here! ;-) [Image attached]”

She said: “OMG, the pic flashed on the screen because I have message preview turned on, and I think my boss saw it!!!”

Folks. WHY would you not do something about your notification settings if you’re doing the heavy with people on your phone? Also, do NOT leave your phone lying around unlocked. And do not forget to delete your chat archives. It might be fun to reread the conversations in the short term, but you do not want to have them on your phone long enough to have to explain them to your kids.

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12. Not Thinking It Through

She said: “Hey. Could you delete those pics of me you have? I’m seeing someone else now.”

He said: “No.”

Ladies and gents, please think about the situation carefully before you start doing the image-messaging hanky-panky with someone. Message forwarding is an actual thing. And nudie pics are forever.

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