Ever feel like there is no time in life, not even when it comes to sex? That it just starts and ends after a hop, skip and a jump. That’s because it’s having sex. And not making love. You’ve heard this before: sex is not just about taking your clothes off. It’s not just exercise. It’s definitely not the in thing to do. Sex can be a lot more.
This is what you should be looking for.
There are many kinds of sexual encounters but when talking about the types of sex, here are the two you should know about:
Clinically known as “heights of sex” this type of sex is usually ignited by a physical experience and is measured by the intensity and quantity of stimulation. I’d refer to it as third-date sex or too-much-Chardonnay-in-my-system-sex. Then there’s the other kind…
Literally referred to as “depth of sex” (and you thought I was kidding!), this is the kind that encourages both partners to connect with their minds, bodies and souls. Definitely, not the kind to happen on a Tinder date, this is the kind of sex that calls for real intimacy, care and love. A lot of relationships find this early and many don’t evolve for years.
The key to making love, is to care. And to show it.
We all know the end game to a date night. But if you think about it, there’s so much that you can do about it. If your guy wants to, he can build that moment for hours, days even. Making love is not about just the act—making love is about being thoughtful, about appreciating someone, just because they’re there, with you.
So the next time he asks you out, pay attention to the little things. Does he spoil you with choices for your next meal? Does he insist on picking you up—even if there is traffic? Does he listen when you talk? Does he remember to hold the door? Make the most of these gestures. Make the most of the times your eyes meet. Or the moments he finds reasons to graze your arm. That’s real.
When you’re in bed with him, you’re not just having sex, you have the chance to create a moment, a memory—memories that can potentially make you go weak in the knees.
Here are some things that may paint a picture.
1. Sometimes, a kiss on the back of her neck gives her more goosebumps than the ones on her lips.
2. Get on top—not only is it liberating but also the time he’s relying on you.
3. Wrap your legs around his waist and kiss him. Kiss him like your life depends on it. Like you had a hundred things to tell him and you did. Like this.
4. Spoon. There’s no eye contact but since it’s a cradling position, it usually invokes a lot of emotions.
Remember, the best part about lovemaking is that it gets better as you grow. So it can never get boring.