Ladies, ladies, you know we are always up for spicing things up in bed and trying new things but there are a few things that, trust us, you should not be doing in bed. Seriously, it’s time to stop. Consider this a life lesson you’ll definitely want to bookmark for the future! Read this list of 13 things and remember to never do them. EVER!
1. Talk about exes
That’s a no-no on any normal day but it is an absolute blunder if you are about to sleep with the guy and tell him an ex-story. Even if it is to talk about how great he is compared to your ex, just don’t do it. Keep the ex-files closed and buried.
2. Be a dead starfish in bed
Don’t just lie in bed and let him do whatever he wants to. Not only is that super unsexy, it also means that you are not allowing yourself to explore your body sexually. Be as enthusiastic about it as he is, it’s not a crime!
3. Get all feely’ after sex
Don’t bring up the “How do you feel?/What are you thinking?” conversation right after sex. Even if you want to ask him things, do that over a coffee later. Just let this moment be when both of you are tired yet happy.
Yes, most of us are conscious about seeing our naked bodies in the light. We get it; been there, done that. But don’t always insist on switching off the lights. Give light a chance, my friends. Who knows, it might just help you in the whole process of being turned on.
5. Steer him by his head when he goes down
Umm, yeah, no. It might be tempting to steer him in the right direction but can you imagine what that must feel like? Let him do his thing and if you have any specific inputs then save them for later...much much later.
6. Check your phone
Checking your phone whether it is to answer that call from your mom or to see what time it is, is such a turn off! Admit it, you’d hate it too if someone did that to you...and we all know life is a full circle, right?
7. Fake a climax
Well, yeah, sometimes you have to but don’t fake it till you make it all the time! Sometimes it’s okay to not have that orgasm and to admit that you didn’t. It’s a tough thing to do anyway!
8. Put on complicated lingerie
Men don’t understand the nuances of our clasps, buttons and other lingerie complications. Wear a simple one that’s easy to get out of because you don’t want to be stuck with him figuring it out for ten minutes!
9. Wear all your jewellery
Unless it’s a tiny stud in your ear, make sure you take off all your jewellery. Danglers and long pointy ones can cause serious damage, guys!
10. Jump out of bed and run for a shower instantly
Yes, it’s important to clean yourself after sex and we understand the urgency but use some tact to decide when it’s time. Excuse yourself and tell him you will be back in a jiffy instead of running away like having sex was the most gross thing you ever did!
11. Candles? No. Nope. Never.
You are basically putting a flame amidst a heap of inflammable material. Do you really expect it to go right?
12. Going over-the-top with noises
Noises help, we admit it. But they help when they are genuine. Don’t necessarily make up noises just because you think he likes it. Unless he has mentioned that he likes it, cut it off, girls!
13. If you have a pet - don’t keep them in the same room!
Pets are amazing, aren’t they? Well, not when they are staring at you doing it with your guy. And while you might be accustomed to having your pet around, imagine what the guy must feel like. Keep the door shut to avoid such a weird situation!