It all started as all great love stories these days do—we met on an online dating platform and sparks flew right away. Rohan was witty, cute as a button, and emotionally available. What else could a girl wish for? So, for a year we lived in our little dream world where everything was peachy but something, more like someone was casting a shadow on our utopia—his mom.
Before I get into the details, here’s something you should know—I am a considerably ‘easy-to-get-along’ person. I have always been a social butterfly and love to meet new people. Honestly, I was actually looking forward to meeting Rohan’s mom. I had already made fantasies about ganging up on him, pulling his leg, and, gossiping with her.
On our one-year anniversary, Rohan got down on one knee and pulled out a gorgeous ring. I couldn’t hold back tears and happily said ‘yes’. But that was the last time I felt happy in that relationship.
Finally, it was time to meet the parents. My mom and dad loved my boyfriend at the first meeting. However, an odd thing kept nagging at me. During our courtship, he didn’t ask me to see his parents. After a week of pestering, he finally gave in and took me to meet his mom-dad. Throughout the drive, something felt off. I could sense he was anxious.
Rohan’s mom gave us a warm welcome and we sat down to chat. This was a huge relief ‘coz I was expecting the worst at that point. However, it began the instant I let my guard down. It was all going well when suddenly she asked if I planned to lose weight before the wedding. To say I was shocked will be an understatement. I have always been made aware of the fact that I am not a skinny, petite girl but it just never bothered me. His mom’s comment stung like a jellyfish though. I decided to laugh it off and made some witty comments on how curvy women are ruling the world now.
But it didn’t stop there. She looked at my boyfriend and asked if he had told me about moving in with them soon. I was stunned ‘coz I had no clue about this plan. His mom looked at me and said, “I would be so happy when you will live with us, I can make healthy food for you and we can work out together. I bet you will lose 5 kgs in a month.”
Well, that was my cue to get up and leave but my legs refused to cooperate. It got progressively worse from there. After a while, his mom asked if I was planning to have kids in the first year of marriage ‘coz that’s what she did. I already had tears in my eyes but I murmured something incoherent.
After two hours of grilling and insults, I was done. I left without saying goodbye and sat down at a bus stop crying. My boyfriend followed me and told me his mom can be a little blunt at times but she meant well. He then assured me that once we start living with them, it will all be better.
As I heard these words, I knew I had to make a decision. I thought of all the happy moments I had with Rohan and everything we had together. But was it enough? I was petrified of losing him but I couldn’t help but notice how he didn’t say his mother was wrong. Thousands of thoughts raced through my mind—did he also feel this way and never said it out loud? Will he ever pick my side if I don’t agree with his mom? These questions shook me to the core.
And right at that moment, I chose to end everything. I couldn’t bear the thought of living with a family that was going to attach my self-worth to my weight.
Often I wonder if I made the right call but the truth is no one can make me feel inferior without my consent. The most important relationship in life is the one you have with yourself and I am truly happy about it.
*Names changed to protect privacy.
