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#MyStory: How I Realized It Wasn’t The Other Woman’s Fault

#MyStory: How I Realized It Wasn’t The Other Woman’s Fault

I met my ex-boyfriend when I was sixteen, while travelling from my hometown to New Delhi for the first time and we got along pretty well. He was seven years older. After a couple of dates, he asked me out and I said yes for our relationship as he sounded pretty convincing when he spoke of ‘true love’. And believe me, he wasn’t lying then, I know… A girl knows. He introduced me to his landlord who was a fifty-year-old widow and a doctor with three kids. Awkward, right? It was for me too. But I thought maybe he’s just trying to make me comfortable by introducing me to people in his life. He called her ‘Bhabhi’. I didn’t get a good vibe from her though...


Soon after, I deeply fell for him. Since then, all I thought was for his good. That’s my genuine nature. That’s every human’s genuine nature, I guess. I am not at all exaggerating when I say that our love story could literally be narrated as a Bollywood movie excluding the songs, of course, until… He cheated on me.


It was after a year and a half, he was leaving for his hometown and I wanted to meet him, but for some unknown reason he fought with me and just left. As a mature person, I didn’t bother him again and that was the last time I spoke with him… I called and I called again, his number wasn’t reachable. I panicked, got worried, called every friend I could for a week but he was gone. I still continued to email him.


On a Monday, while I was in my CAD class, I got a call from him and he told me he had an accident on the way. He was drinking and driving, all alone, at night. Another man died in that accident. Tears down my eyes and I rushed to meet him but he was different… All different. His tone didn’t feel warm anymore, they were just words and soon after, he suggested breaking up saying - ‘You are too young to get married and my family wants me to bring a bride home’.


Oh God, it couldn’t be more painful! A man who was so mature, so in love, who literally begged this relationship and sacrificed all his values for it, now wanted to leave me. I tried to stop him and then…agreed. I never wanted someone who was not mine. So I let go of him. I was in pain for months. I rejected every love relationship after that. What was the point? I loved my work and I was into it.


Internal the other woman - sad woman sitting


One morning when I woke up, he called. It was his birthday and he wanted to meet me. So we went out for coffee. I wasn’t looking at him… I just couldn’t. He confessed that he loved me and he had only loved me. He lied earlier because he cheated on me with his fifty-year-old landlord. I can’t really explain the peace in having someone you love, come back to you because it’s priceless but the rage I had for that other woman was killing me. He was still living in her house and he wanted to marry me, crazy right? Way more painful than earlier.


We had a four-year-long relationship after that and then, finally broke up. The reason - he expected me to become a ‘star’ of my field at the age of twenty and earn well because I was a top ranking student. But let’s be honest, isn’t that too much to ask for? Because his exact words were, ‘I will only regret this break-up if you become famous.’ Plus, he was again cheating on me with HER. My younger sister took care of my heart all that while. I am ‘finally’ not in love with him, I don’t care about him anymore and I have forgotten and forgiven him… It’s a relief.


I wanted to forgive ‘Bhabhi’ earlier so I could live peacefully. But today, I really want to forgive her because I don’t want to look at it as a girlfriend anymore, I want to just look at the situation as a woman. It’s because of her I am not with a wrong guy anymore. It’s hard, sometimes. It sure ruined my story but I am much more than that now. God is leading me to the best opportunities I can handle, I am working with top companies but without him.


Today, my calm self is capable of hiding anything, any amount of pain and that’s a miracle. I give all that love to someone who truly deserves it - my little sister and I couldn’t have been happier. I am making myself stronger every day and God forbid but if I am in her shoes someday, I won’t ever even look at a man who’s not mine.


So, to the other woman I want to say that I don’t blame her anymore. I don’t blame anyone but the man who could not keep his side of the promise and clearly had a very misguided perception of love.


Images: Shutterstock


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Published on Jun 15, 2017
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