My boyfriend and I were dating for two years in school before we moved to Delhi for our further studies. We both got into Delhi University but in different colleges. Initially, things were going fine. We would meet because we only had each other in the new city. But slowly, as we made new friends, we started hanging out less. Ever since then, I used to think his behaviour got a bit fishy because he never used to call or text until I did so. Nevertheless, I gave him the benefit of doubt because meeting new people in a new city and studying new things can get overwhelming at times.
I remember we had a huge fight once because he didn’t show up for a date we had planned. I was furious, his hostel was a ten minute walk from my flat and he still couldn’t come. Instances like these continued to occur, he’d forget to call or cancel on our plans. We hardly ever met.
Even through all this behaviour change I never doubted his loyalty towards me. Of course, I had no idea what was lying in store for me.
This happened on a Saturday. I didn’t have any classes but had gone to college to meet some of my friends. When all of them were leaving, I called him up to ask him if he wanted to hang out. He refused, ‘I have some work at church for tomorrow’s mass’ he told me. I knew he had always been very involved when it came to his church so I did not press it any further.
However, when I was heading back home in a rickshaw, I saw him…with another girl. I clenched the rickshaw railing to stop myself from falling over. I was shocked to see that he had lied to me but somehow couldn’t find the guts to get off the rickshaw and confront him. It was after I had passed the two of them that I asked the rickshaw puller to stop. Getting off, I thought about what I was going to do. I could see them not very far away from me, laughing. It made my anger worse and in a fit of rage I walked straight up to him and stood there.
‘Oh, hi, um, what are you doing here?’ he asked ‘I live here.’ I said flatly ‘Weren’t you supposed to be in church?’ I didn’t even look at the girl because I could feel my face turning red with anger and embarrassment. ‘Yeah, I was just heading there. We are really going to get late, in fact. I will call you tonight,’ he said, smiling at me, and left.
I stood there, shaking from head to toe. He had said nothing about the girl who was with him and just left? I waited all night for his call, which never came. So the next morning I decided to go meet him outside his hostel. He was still in his pajamas when he came down. ‘Sorry, I got really late last night’ he told me. ‘Who was that girl?’ I asked.
‘A friend from Church.’ he replied.
‘What were you doing with her yesterday?’
‘I told you I had some church work, we were going there together.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me that then?’
‘You didn’t ask.’
I took a hold of his hand as tears rolled down my cheeks. ‘Do you not want this relationship? Why have you been acting weird lately?’ I asked.
‘I’ve been busy.’
He sighed, taking away his hands from mine. ‘Listen, I… That girl, I like her. Yesterday when you saw me with her, I was on a date with her. I don’t know when this happened but I have gotten really fond of her and I think I want to be with her.’
Not only had I caught my boyfriend with another woman but he hadn’t even considered me important enough to tell me what he was feeling. I looked at him and I wanted to hit him. But I walked away. He tried to call me tons of times after that, just to talk and explain but for the next one year, I never talked to him. It hurt me that he would blatantly lie to me for all this while when he was feeling this way. This also adversely affected the last six months of my first year in college and if it wasn’t for some amazing people entering my life, I wouldn’t have made it through.
The point, I guess, after such a story is that a relationship without trust and honesty can hardly be called love.