I had appeared for an interview for this big organization and was waiting for the result. Many people had appeared for the interview and one of them created a chat group on WhatsApp. The details of the people who had passed the written test was put up in the company’s site, so I guess he got our numbers there.
Since I was jobless, I used to be online all the time and kept track of what was happening in this chat group. I was one of the most active member of the group and would participate in most of the conversations. I started getting friend request on Facebook from many people in the group.
One of them was Anay, he looked really cute in his profile picture. I accepted his request and found out a lot about him from his FB profile. Son of an army office, he was from Himachal and his hobby was hunting.
The very first time we spoke on FB, we had a nice conversation. He said he liked my profile picture and I blushed. We started chatting almost every day and after a couple of days he asked the question I was dreading. He asked me if I was seeing someone and I said, “No”. But the truth was I had a boyfriend… I don’t know why I lied to him. I just couldn’t tell him that there was already someone in my life, and that we had been in a relationship for four years.
Our interview result came out after a month and I passed… yes, I got the job and I really was excited to start this new phase of my life. My hard work of more than a year had finally paid off. And I got posted to the location that everyone wanted - Goa!!
And, as luck would have it, Anay also got through and his posting was also in Goa. It was unbelievable that out of the 150 people who got the job, Anay and I got posted to the same place. Now this made me nervous; this meant that we would be working together and I would have to come clean to him about my relationship status.
I started thinking of ways to deal with this situation. I made numerous plans, including that I would ignore him or be extremely rude to him so that he would just stop talking to me. I even thought that I would flatly refuse that I even know him. On the other hand, Anay was super excited that we would be meeting soon.
For him it was a beautiful coincidence. “Our chit chats might lead up to something meaningful now, we will be together now," he said.
I was so scared because my boyfriend was accompanying me to Goa to help me settle there. He was going to stay with me for a week and help me find proper accommodation. I had no idea what was going to happen and where this would lead to.
I reached Goa a day before my joining date, with my brother and my boyfriend. I met Anay in person the next day at our orientation. Dressed in a crisp white shirt and dark grey pants, he looked even better in person. I got nervous, I wondered how would he react to see me in person. But then, suddenly, realised that I had bigger things to worry about: what if he asked me to have lunch with him? I had promised my boyfriend and my brother that I would have lunch with them.
Finally, we met and he looked pretty excited, we sat together throughout the orientation program and he kept talking to me in whispers. He was excited like a child, making plans about everything we would do during our stay in Goa. The more I heard him make plans, the more I cursed myself for putting him in such a situation. I could hardly hear much of what he was saying, all I could hear was my heartbeat getting faster and louder. It was so loud that I think the boy sitting in the next row also turned his head to check on it...
The session got over and it was time for lunch. As expected, Anay asked me to join him for lunch. I felt like I was stuck to the chair, I just couldn’t move out of fear… my legs were shaking. I kept thinking what excuse to give him. There was no way I could tell him that my brother and my boyfriend were waiting to have lunch with me. The hall was almost empty and I had to leave.
As we came out of the hall, my boyfriend and my brother came rushing to me,complaining that they were starving. Then my brother noticed Anay and introduced himself to him as my brother. The both said hello and shook hands. I knew what was coming next, I felt like I was going to faint. Anay introduced himself as my friend and told my brother how we used to chat in the WhatsApp group.
Then my boyfriend approached Anay and extending his hand, he said, “Hi Anay, I am Tarun, her boyfriend.” I couldn’t even look at his face, I just kept staring at the tiles under my feet, I think one of the tiles cracked as a result of my intense gaze.
I don’t even know whether he was shocked or angry when he came to know the truth, I just couldn’t face him. But I heard him saying, “Yes, of course, I know about you Tarun. She keeps talking about you.”
He just excused himself saying he had to make some calls and left. I have never felt as horrible as I felt that day. The entire one year we were in Goa, he never spoke to me after that day.
It’s been three years since that incident. I still work for the same organization and I am still based in Goa. However, Anay got transferred to Bangalore and recently I heard from a colleague that he has joined some other company now.
He must have felt really bad, but he never confronted me and he didn’t even tell anyone about us. The way he kept mine and his own dignity intact makes me think even worse of myself. Of course, he removed me from his FB friend list, I am sure he hates me.
I can never forgive myself for making him go through all that...