I'm sorry that I loved you passionately and then treated you irreverently. I'm sorry that I didn't try to get you to go to therapy; that I believed all the books and movies and thought that the kind of pain you suffered from could be healed just by loving you. Maybe once upon a time, it could have. If you were a small child, maybe love would have been enough. But you'd lived nineteen years without any kind of affection, and finally getting it and then losing it was, I believe, why you didn't make it to twenty.
2. The one who brought hope back
You saved my life. Did I ever tell you that? You were this shining, golden creature that I met when I was at my lowest ebb, and meeting you taught me that it's OK to be happy. It's OK to be glad you're alive, even when someone else isn't anymore. I loved you when I was sixteen..
Keep being who you are. Who you are is a shining beacon of warmth that lights up all you touch. And next time you're in Europe, look me up.
Love and sunshine kisses,
3. The one who didn’t try
What can I say? It was fun. I'm glad that I got to learn a new language so I could speak to you, but I really hope that if you're still dating non-Italian girls, you put in some effort to meet them halfway.
4. The one who was “first” in so many ways
This is such a hard thing to write, because I'm not entirely sure what I want to say to you.
We had a strange relationship. I think you'll agree with that. You were my first grown-up boyfriend, the first that I was physical with, and I didn't know how to deal with that intensity.
My body lit up when you touched me, and sometimes it was just too much for me to handle, inexperienced as I was. I wish that I'd had the wisdom to realise that you needed to know that you were loved and wanted. Because I did love you; I did want you. You were always good enough. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that more clearly.
5. The one which just wasn’t right
I think if you're honest with yourself, you'll realise that we were never compatible. We really shouldn't have gotten together - to you, I was just an exotic blonde with a good pair of legs, and to hell with my mind or my heart. To me, you were a rebound relationship who made me feel wanted again for a little while. We used each other, and it was fun for a while.
I wish you well in life. But you probably shouldn't keep showing up at my door. It's not going to change, and we don't have anything to give each other.
6. The stalker
Please do not contact me again. If you do, I will seek a restraining order.
Sati Marie Frost
7. The one in which things were unspoken
I loved you. I should have admitted to that. I should have stood up and fought for you; should have made it clear that you mattered to me. I'm sorry I didn't.
I hope that when you're ready to date again, you choose someone kind, someone honourable and compassionate. You deserve that. You deserve to be loved and treated well.
Love, as always.
8. The one which still has “benefits”
Yeah, yeah. We sucked as a couple. As exes, we seem to get on pretty well.
Feel like having a visitor sometime in July or August? and lube if you provide rope ties and a paddle.