Being in a relationship is a wonderful wonderful feeling, especially if it's an open, airy one! Its super-awesome to have someone who understands and loves every bit of the crazy, fun and unique person that you are. While it’s always good to keep things unrestricted and not make a ‘You-Just-Have-To-Do-This’ list, there are certain things every couple should talk about.
1. The things you love about each other - and the things you don’t
Appreciate little things that you love about each other and also discuss the ones that you don’t. Neither do you want your partner to feel unappreciated nor do you want small itchy things to balloon into major fights and deal breakers. So talk about both sides and find ways to either change or be okay with the things you don’t particularly like about each other. After all ‘A stitch in time saves nine’, right?!
2. The “Where are we?” discussion
If you two are reading the same book and have to discuss it, but he’s reading page number 27 while you are still at page 15, how would that feel? Uncomfortable, right? It’s the same thing with your relationship too. Talk about where you both are in your relationship. Both of you might not necessarily be on the same page all the time, but you need to know where exactly your partner is. It just makes it easier to deal with each other’s emotions.
Who all are there in your family? Who are you closest to? How is your relationship with your siblings? Who is your confidant in the family? These are some of the questions you should be asking your partner. His family is an important part of his life and so are you - so it's only fair that you know what kind of a relationship he shares with his family. Also, it will be a one-up when you meet them in person.
4. The Ex-lovers
Chances are that this may not be your first relationship, however flames from the past should not affect what you guys have now. Talk about how comfortable you are about him keeping in touch with his ex and vice versa. Remember, that although you both have the freedom to choose your friends and the people you want to or do not want to be in touch with, a particular ex may just fall into the red flag category for either of you - in which case just talk and sort it out.
5. Money Matters
Phrases like “Money doesn’t matter when you are in love” and “Whatever is yours is mine” are idealistic statements which are not necessarily true all the time. Money should never interfere in any relationship - which is why you need to sit and discuss how you are going to split your expenses and how much each of you is going to contribute and save from your salary. There is nothing wrong with this. In fact it is a very healthy practice to keep your money matters sorted.
6. Career, goals, and dreams
Both of you are two different people whose primary identity is certainly not the relationship. It is imperative that you talk about each other’s dreams, career goals and maybe even the wild and off-the-track things you might want to do. It's always easier to make dreams come true when two people are working towards it, instead of one.
Talking during sex may be a turnoff for some people, but it is important to talk about it to each other. Things you like to do in bed and the things you don’t. New things you want to try, and what makes you uncomfortable. There is nothing to shy away from or be embarrassed about - instead be very open about it and it will certainly make a lot of things easy for you and make you more comfortable with each other.
8. Just talk
It's always good to know that when you get back from a long hard day at work, someone is there to give you a nice tight hug and listen to you as you pour out the day’s happenings. It just makes one feel loved and cared for. So, even if it's just for a while, sit together and just talk to each other. Its really the little things that go on to make a huge distance.
If you feel you have been missing out on any of these, this is the time girl! Better late than never.