#MyStory: Why My Husband Asked Me Not To Work After Marriage...
After I finished my studies, I had plans to start my own dental clinic or go for further studies. However, the day I was done with my internship my family told me to meet this guy, you know, for marriage.
I checked him out on Facebook and didn’t much like what I saw. I went to meet Yash at a park, with my sister. I was so not interested in meeting him, and was a bit irritated about the whole situation. While going to the park, my sister requested that I talk less and listen more. When he came and sat with us, I couldn't look up and see him properly. I looked at his shoes…good choice. I observed that he was well dressed and very soft spoken.
My sister then left us alone and we sat at the two ends of the park bench. Both of us were confused and nervous as to how to start a conversation. Then we both looked up at the same time and saw each other staring awkwardly and burst out laughing. Thus the ice was broken and he initiated the conversation: “Are you happy with this?” I just replied, “Yeah, I'm okay.”
The conversation took its own course and within minutes we both were sitting comfortably on the bench, much closer than before. I asked a bunch of stupid questions and he replied to them one by one with patience. Obviously, I had totally forgotten my sister’s advice. At the end of that day I felt that this guy was right for me. It was a “Yes” from both of us. We got married in February 2015.
I had imagined a simple married life where I would be busy between home and clinic. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Yash asked me to take a break from work for at least a year. I was furious at him and fought with him a lot. And he just remained calm throughout and reasoned with me, but was still adamant that I don’t work.
Days passed by, and he kept telling me to explore other aspects of life. And so I did.
I knew nothing about being a homemaker, but in this one year I have learnt how to cook many cuisines and the whole art of home décor. I have discovered the creative side within me. I learnt everything I never knew I could do. And throughout this process, Yash helped me get better at these things; he would always encourage me and never criticized me too much. We also spent many cute moments such as going for spontaneous bike rides. We also had a rather relaxing vacation in Kerala.
It was only with time that I realized that the quality time a couple needs at the beginning of their relationship - that was what Yash wanted us to have in the first year of our marriage. Since ours was an arranged marriage, we had missed out on getting to know each other too well beforehand. And this year of “us time” without any distraction was crucial for us to form a deep and meaningful bond with each other.
Now, Yash is helping me restart my career; he is helping me with my application process for a job. He even actively fills out forms for me sometimes. I feel complete with him as my life partner. When I came to accept this, I felt rather bad about all the fights I’d had with him because of my initial misunderstanding of his motives and intentions. But then I guess that’s all part of being a couple - you fight, and then you kiss and you make up.
I love Yash’s simplicity and the mature way in which he deals with situations. I really needed such a soothing break in my life. We are planning to have a child and start another beautiful phase of our life. I know this one year we had - just the two of us enjoying life and each other’s company - it will never come back, and I am so happy that my husband made this possible.
* Names changed to protect privacy.
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Published on Feb 19, 2016