Starting a conversation with a guy can sometimes be easy, and sometimes totally nerve-wracking. Especially if you’re a shy girl, or don’t have too many guy friends that you spend a lot of time with. But not all the stereotypes about guys are true - and you don’t have to bat your eyelashes like they’re fans or learn up all the rules of football in order to be able to talk to them. Just read up on our 11 tips on how to talk to boys, and you’ll be sorted in no time at all!
1. Approach him!
Well, ladies, no point being shy or nervous about it. If you want to talk to him, you have to make a move to the effect. Smiling at him, and hoping he’s going to come up to you, works only sometimes. For the other times, muster up the courage and walk up to him. Start with saying hi! And in case you’re stuck for ideas about what to say to him next, here’s some inspiration
2. Let him participate
This is very important. Make sure what you say - or ask - warrants a detailed response. Instead of just asking “Hey, what’s up?” go for something a bit more in-depth. “What do you think about this song?” is one that works in most social situations since it’s very likely that there’s some form of music around. And even if all you can think of is the weather, “Wow, it’s super-hot today - do you think it’s likely to rain anytime soon?” can help you start off a conversation. These are questions that solicit his opinion - which means he has to participate. Way better than “Hey, what’s up?” and “Not much”, right?
There’s nothing more engaging about talking to a new person than the possibility of being able to have fun. Smile, indicate to him that you’re in a good mood. Smiles are contagious, they make the other person respond in the same way. You don’t have to giggle or laugh loudly (unless what he says makes you naturally respond that way, of course!), but smiling is always, ALWAYS a good idea. It encourages the other person to open up. (Think about it: would you
be interested in talking to someone who looks grim, or someone who looks cheerful?)
4. Get him to talk about himself
Well, this is something we must accept: everyone likes to talk about themselves to some extent. So once you get started, turn the conversation to him. Ask him what he does, whether he’s interested in music or sports or movies or whatever. Listen carefully to what he says, and respond accordingly. Not only will this make for a fun conversation that flows, but it will also allow you the chance to get to know him a bit.
5. Be confident
There’s nothing more attractive in another person than confidence. No matter how shy or nervous you feel, you gotta be confident. And if you aren’t feeling
it, then just fake it for a bit until you feel comfortable. After all, he
can’t tell if you have butterflies in your stomach! The longer you talk, the more at ease you will feel - and the confidence will come to you, even if it isn’t there at the beginning!
6. And be nice
Gossip is perhaps the easiest icebreaker in the world. But remember this: when you’re talking to someone for the first time ever, you probably want them to like you. So a mean remark about someone - even you’re stating a fact - is best avoided. You don’t want to come across as a negative person. Keep it light and polite - and work your way up to something slightly outrageous (and funny as hell) if you find that he’s the kind who’d probably enjoy some gentle sarcasm. This also means that you shouldn’t be rude to him
- if something he says makes you feel angry or upset, time to cut your losses and find someone else to talk to.
7. Make eye contact
Nothing says “I’m paying attention to what you’re saying” like some direct eye contact. Yes, it can be difficult, we know, and those nerves really don’t listen all the time, but looking straight at him for a second or two is not going to kill you. Everyone wants to feel like the person they’re speaking to are focusing entirely on them - so work on that eye contact, even if it makes you blush a little. After all, you’ve gotten this far - you can definitely go a little further!
8. Use humour
Everybody loves a good joke! Now, you may not be a full-fledged comedian, but we’re sure you have some super-witty comments hiding up your sleeve. No better time to use them than now! Make him laugh, and he will want to continue talking to you for a long, long time.
9. Body language is important
If you want to have a great conversation, you have to convey it not just with your words but your body too. We told you about smiling and making eye contact - now do a couple of more things. Lean in - it indicates that you’re interested in what he’s saying. And make sure not to tap your foot (unless it’s too music) or look at your phone or watch repeatedly. All of these (even if you’re just checking if you got a message or want to know the time) are indicators of impatience. And no one wants to talk to someone who is saying through their body language “I have other things to get to”.
10. Enjoy yourself
Girl, you gotta enjoy yourself to make this conversation worth your while - it’s not just his enjoyment that you should think about. Because, otherwise, what is the point, really? Remember, the point of this is not just to talk to him, but also to have fun while you’re doing so. After all, if you don’t gain any pleasure out of this experience, you might as well have not bothered. So be prepared - and determined! - to enjoy yourself!
11. And, finally, be yourself!
You can fake confidence, but never, ever fake yourself
. If you’re not a movie buff, and he is, you don’t have to pretend to be the world’s biggest Bollywood fan. And if you follow politics, and he doesn’t, you don’t have to pretend to not be interested. Accept and admit to the differences - and laugh about it. Opposites attract too, remember? If you get too caught up in agreeing with him to keep the conversation going, or projecting yourself in way that is not you
, that’s a shaky start - and you’ll get trapped in having to continue faking it. Better to smile, put it down as practice, and move on to someone else with whom you can have a genuine conversation! :-)
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