I’m a messy eater - often clumsy, lazy sometimes and hungry always. I guess, you could say my spirit animal is a panda. Of all the apps I have on my phone, seven are food. I order food online almost everyday, whether it’s a noodle box or a single brownie. And here are all the thoughts that sprint through my head while I’m at it.
1. Why is it taking so long?
The best part about ordering food online is that you don’t have to go to food. Food comes to you. But the moment we see a green dot next to ‘On its way,’ you can’t expect us to be patient.
2. The delivery guy hasn’t moved at all! Should I cancel?
The struggle is real.
3. I’m too broke to order. Maybe I could split the bill with someone!
But then I would have to share my food too.
4. To eat healthy or to eat junk?
My heart says ‘pizza’ but my hips say ‘salad.’ And as Shakira said, “hips don’t lie!” Damn you, calories!
5. ‘Regular’ is too less and ‘Large’ is too much!
Whoever said ‘Size doesn’t matter,’ is wrong. SO wrong.
6. Why is the delivery charge so high for a single roll?
That moment when a roll for 80 bucks totals down to Rs 264 after delivery charges. As if taxes weren’t eating us alive!
7. I should try something new this time (or not…)
And her name is chicken momos.
8. Koi offer chal raha hai kya?
Give me a food coupon and I’ll be less guilty about all the calories I’m about to inhale.
9. Cash on delivery or card?
I’m not a huge fan of keeping cash in my wallet and my bank account is not a huge fan of it either. But you have got to make the best of a situation.
10. What if my order gets delivered to someone else?
It almost never happens but, hey, I’m possessive about my dude and my food.
11. This one looks good on the app. I’ll order this!
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12. They have a minimum order limit? I’ll just add another Coke!
This explains the mountain of empty Coke bottles in my room.
13. Ugh! What do I order?
And the thought that starts it all. You know you’re hungry, but you don’t always know what you want.
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