Rishta meetings can be intimidating. All of us girls have, at some point, gone through that stomach churning process where the heart races at 500 heartbeats/ minute and you don't know what to ask or say. Here's a light-hearted and hopefully helpful guide to know what to expect to take the stress off your head. Chillax babe! Life’s too short for a bad rishta meeting. ;-)
1. First impressions matter...
But not so much. So many of us fumble, some fall - in the long run, it doesn't affect your final decision really. Trust me. And if it's any consolation, I've had my dupatta trapped in a nail and it got torn dramatically at one of my rishta meetings. See how I am sitting on the sofa and writing about it now? That guy I met that day is happily snoozing in the bedroom with our two kids. So, relax!
2. Awkward questions
What are your hobbies? Are you an extrovert? Have you been in a relationship? And that hugely awkward one… Are you still a virgin? The first three are fine but if he asks you the last one – feel free to just get up and leave. While everyone is curious, it doesn’t mean they get nosy at your expense.
3. Open mind
You may have seen each other at someone’s wedding or when he came home with family and he may have looked and behaved very formal, nice and courteous. And now you may see a completely opposite side of him. More casual, lax attitude or it could be that he wants to show you his other, more real, side. Observe, don’t judge yet.
You may have dressed modestly and taken two hours to get ready and expected him to be looking all nice, suited and booted or at least formal but chances are, he might come there in his shorts and tee or in his post-workout outfit. It’s okay…don’t get worked up. There is more to him than just that - give him a chance to prove it!
5. He may be more nervous than you
You’ve got butterflies in your stomach and couldn’t eat properly for two days, worrying about this meet. For all you know, he may be more nervous than you with dinosaurs in his stomach and he may not have eaten for four days. Guys can be shy too! So if you notice him unnecessarily fidgeting, give him a smile to put him a little bit at ease. You're both in the same boat!
6. He’ll want to be THE man
More often than not, men like to show that they have a commanding personality. They will display their confidence through (awkwardly commanding) body language, and may want to pay the bill… What's more important than that though is how he treats the restaurant staff – feel free to judge him harshly if he is at all rude!
You love the same books and movies, food, restaurants… Wow, it may just seem like a match made in heaven! But marriages are more than that. Don’t commit to anything in your first meeting. Give it time, get to know him more than just his likes and dislikes before you make up your mind.
8. He might tell you everything about his past
And if he does, he might expect you to do the same. It’s most likely a trap - don't fall for it. Don’t share your life and personal details out of obligation… Do it in your own time, when and if you feel comfortable enough to share those parts of your life.
9. It's good to be prepared
Check his Twitter and Facebook accounts to see what’s trending in his life. Not to stalk him but to find out what interests him and you could have a ready topic to discuss if things get awkward. Takes a lot of stress off your head, really. And gives you something to break the ice with him!
10. He may reject you
For whatever his reasons are, it’s okay. Remember it’s not about you, it’s about him. If it doesn’t work out, know that it wasn’t meant to work out. Maybe he didn’t find a connect, maybe he is considering other options, maybe he just isn't ready for an arranged marriage. It’s fine. Move on!
Having said all of that… DO listen to the voice of your heart when you meet him and it’ll guide you to your happily-ever-after. Period.