10 Struggles EVERY Newlywed Girl Faces (You’re Not Alone!)
Rituparna SenguptaGuest Contributor
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The journey from Miss to Mrs is full of exciting adventures and tender moments, but there are also some legit struggles. While a new bride is reveling in her identity as a wife, she is also learning a thing or two about her new family. Even as she enjoys her time with her husband, she is adjusting to her career as a married woman. Here are 10 struggles of a newlywed girl that are totally real.
1. Getting used to a new surname
Although more and more girls are choosing to keep their own surname, some women still prefer taking up their husband’s. The challenge of a new surname comes alive when you are filling in official documents, or even a customer appreciation form! Yes, it takes time to get used to being the Mrs!
2. Getting used to waking up next to someone. Every single day.
Of course you had frequent sleepovers before, or perhaps you more or less lived together, but marriage changes the dynamic. With the thrill of forbidden love out of the window, the challenge now is to get used to the fact that the first face you will see in the morning is that of your spouse. And, every once a while, it will be the face of someone who hogged the covers all night. And this is for life!
3. He is around all the time
Before the wedding, you competently handled all your household chores on your own. It takes time to get used to the fact that your household work is now divided with someone! That he is around all the time may be disorienting in the beginning but love is the best habit, as they say.
4. So is his family
Yup. In India, marriages happen between families and it is only normal that a new bride is bombarded with ‘family time’ all the time. Whether or not you live with your in-laws, you face the challenging situation of adjusting to and knowing your husband’s family and extended family as quickly as possible. Since a lot depends on it, better start memorizing names across three generations as soon as possible.
5. Khaane mein kya hai?
These four words are the stuff of nightmares for thousands of girls and their mothers. However, things have changed and nobody expects a new bride to slave in the kitchen to feed the clan any more. Still, when you’re living with someone, once in a while you are expected to feed each other. A new bride, along with her husband, faces the challenge of spending just a wee bit more time in the kitchen.
6. You’re now ‘married’
Let’s face it, girls, marriage changes things. Your friends look at you differently, your parents take you a little bit more seriously, and you suddenly feel quite grown up. Also, the minute a pair of admiring eyes catch a glimpse of the little patch of sindoor on your parting and quickly look away; you are suddenly an odd mix of 80% pride, 19% relief and 1% wistful sighing. Only 1%, mind you.
7. Working girl
As long as you were dating it was still possible to keep your career and personal life far apart. Now, everything has to be considered keeping in mind your husband’s feelings and this applies to him as well. A newlywed girl has to get used to the fact that she has to inform her better half when she’ll be working late and have a chat with him before she accepts offshore work. Marriage is all about teamwork after all.
8. Girl time is reduced
There was a time when every tiny crisis in your life required an urgent sleepover with your bestie, when you drank wine and ranted for hours on end. Not anymore. A newlywed girl is usually faced with the challenge of devoting her time to work, him, his family, her family and some alone time. Alas, ‘girl time’ gets compromised a bit but true friends always understand.
9. Shared expenses and responsibilities
Of course, before the wedding he might have been the chivalrous gentleman offering to pay for everything, but it is unreasonable to expect that afterward. A major challenge as a newlywed girl is to accept that everything ought to be divided up if equality is desired. So yes, be it finances or responsibilities, newlyweds better be ready for the teamwork.
10. Lastly, the pain of leaving home and parents
Nothing compares to the challenge of walking out of your parents’ house to a new abode. The pain of leaving ‘home’ is ever present and every newlywed misses her family. Even if you lived on your own! As a newlywed girl trying to adjust to a new house and family, the challenge is to overcome the yearning for the ones you left behind.