People say that Indian women take a LOT of time these days over tying the knot – unlike the older days, they say, when our parents got married quite young, with nary a second thought. And it’s true! Most of us like to delay the process of getting married for as long as possible because not only isn’t marriage the only thing that matters to us but also because it can be quite a worrying prospect. Not convinced? Well, here is why young Indian women worry about getting married…
1. Our mothers’ constant reminders that “Your mother-in-law won’t put up with your tantrums like I do” can make us begin to fear the idea of a mother-in-law!
2. Everyone has always told us that our lives will drastically change after marriage – and we quite like our lives just as they are!
3. In India, marriage is not a matter to be settled between two people, but something that concerns two families and at least 2 dozen people!
4. The traditional Indian man tends to be somewhat possessive (and often chauvinistic!), because of which most girls equate marriage with a loss of total independence. Going for vacations with your friends or doing a night out with them or planning a solo travel jig become insanely complicated issues.
5. Think of all the Bollywood movies and TV serials you’ve seen that show what a girl’s life is like after she is married…
6. We Indians are expected to follow a process: Get married, have babies, raise them, pay for their education, take care of their needs, save money for their weddings, get them married, and so on. But hey! What if we don’t want babies? It’s our choice, of course, but dealing with nosy relatives who are scandalized by our decision is not an easy task.
7. What if the marriage doesn’t work out? What if love is lost with time? These what-ifs are particularly worrisome for Indian girls because getting a divorce is still a big taboo.
8. Responsibilities! Probably way more than we want to handle. Sigh!
9. Hundreds of expectations. We have to behave like ideal daughters-in-law and, all of a sudden, Maggi can’t be the only dinners we cook!
10. The preparations can take a toll on us. And what’s with the huge expenses associated with getting married “in style”?
11. We are not yet ready to be called someone’s bhabhi, bahu, chachi or mami. I am just ME – no?
12. Given our high-soaring ambitions and career aspirations, the prospect of marriage brings with it a good deal of apprehension because it involves many tough choices that can affect us professionally. After all, it’s not easy to find a man who will take a sabbatical for a few years to take care of babies while we work our way up the corporate ladder!
13. We have all heard the old cliché: “Betiyaan toh paraayi hoti hain.” It’s scary to think that we can’t any longer lean on our parents for support the way we always have.
14. We have an identity that we don’t really want to change. Mrs Husband’s Surname isn’t as good as how our name sounds at present, and continuing to go by our “maiden name” after getting married is a difficult battle to fight even now. 15. We don’t want to get married because we are yet to accomplish everything on our “Things to do before tying the knot” bucket list! 16. Commitment issues! What if a greater love strikes our hearts later, when we can’t do anything about it?
17. It’s difficult to suddenly become a part of a new family with new norms and habits, start living with a new set of people and sometimes being forced to make “a show of respect” and build relationships with people we may not like very much.
18. Men can be slobs. So can we, true, but our husbands aren’t expected to clean up our messes like we are expected to clean up theirs. 19. We worry. Period.
MUST-READ: 10 Daily Problems Only Indian Women Face