As a little girl, I always thought that when love would arrive, it would be like the movies – magical yet real. It would be love at first sight, like in DDLJ (in a train with a stranger in a beautiful foreign country) and we would have a happy ending. And then I grew up and learnt that real life was not a fairytale, but, in fact, highly unpredictable. So let’s start from the beginning to understand how I found love and why it took me so long.
I was 17 when I had a crush on the cutest boy in class. Every single time he smiled, my heart skipped a beat. Turned out, he had a crush on me too. What next? We started dating. Strolling around the school ground, being teased by all our friends – we were the cutest couple. I thought to myself, this is what love must feel like. I mean, he makes me blush, leaves cute love notes in my school bag and what not! Then came our mid term exams, and unfortunately, I scored more than him. This hurt his male ego and he let me go. That was it. The 17 year old in me was banking on him for her happily ever after but it wasn’t to be.
Then I turned 18 and towards the end of the school academic year, I became close to a family friend. Unlike my first love, my current boyfriend seemed mature and made me feel special. So special that he was almost obsessive and wanted to track me 24×7. After three months of dating, I realized that this wasn’t love because he was not in love with me, rather he was obsessed with me. After a point, I realized that his insecurities were weighing down upon our relationship. I felt emotionally suffocated and decided to end the relationship before it took a toll on me.
Then, during my second year of college, I started dating this guy from another college whom I met at a fest. We had common friends as well, who were all pleasantly surprised to see us together. I had fallen in love, and this time I was certain. We used to party together, go for evening jogs and in fact even met each other’s families. Of course, there were some problems, but don’t all relationships have those? He had terrible mood swings and temper issues. But I never let his bad side affect my love for him. But, one day, we had an argument over a minor issue and in a fit of rage he flung his hand across my face and slapped me hard. And so I knew it was time to call this off, and run.
After college, I started seeing a colleague from work. It was very unexpected, as I’d refrained from developing feelings for a co-worker, but at the same time, I was falling hopelessly in love with his grey eyes and ringlets. Our first kiss was so good that it automatically erased all others. And don’t even get me started on the ways he could pleasure me. He was my knight in shining armor, I just knew it. Unfortunately, he left for London to pursue his masters soon after we started dating. As apprehensive as I was, I thought that if it’s true love, it would ultimately work out. He was the only guy till date who said he loved me and promised he would never lie to me. Within two months of long distance, I learnt from a trusted friend that he had been hooking up with an English girl in the U.K.. No points for guessing – this wasn’t love and we broke-up.
Thereafter, I started seeing a classmate from my MBA college. He was three years older to me, very respectful and a great guy. I knew my friends and family back home would absolutely love him. The greatest advantage was that we had lived together for almost a year and we seemed quite compatible. But even after having spent all this time together, he said he wasn’t sure about taking the relationship forward when I was imagining getting married to him. Heartbroken this time, I thought to myself, love isn’t commitment phobic, love would do anything to keep you by their side.
It took me 5 break ups to understand the real problem. I realized that I had gotten the real definition of love all wrong. I’ve been married to my sixth boyfriend for over a year now, and I don’t know if this is love. What I do know is that I’ve never been happier. He isn’t the cutest boy in class, neither does he party like me. He doesn’t say that he loves me too often but does a million little things to show me he does. What he is, is a man who cares for me, respects me and promises to stand by me through thick and thin. So, I guess this is love.
Love is simple. It’s as simple as someone being able to put a smile on your face. And I was lucky enough to understand and finally find it too.
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