There are all sorts of ways in which one can up one’s sex game. Games to play, tricks to try, and so on and so forth. But sometimes, we forget the fundamental truth that far too often the simple things are what can make or break an experience. So today we give you the most basic things that you must keep in mind when you’re getting into bed with someone – to make it a fabulous experience worth not just his time but yours too.
Yes, the movies might have you believing that sweaty is all sexy, but in real life it isn’t – unless you and your partner have been up to activities together that’s got you hot and bothered and ready to go. If you know you’re going to get down to business with someone, please take a shower! Observing the rules of basic hygiene is the first step towards being a considerate, generous lover.
Remember not to go overboard in your efforts to smell good. We suspect your partner would rather smell you rather than your perfume, no matter how fancy it is. Spritz some behind your ears, of course, and on your wrist – but that’s enough. Your pheromones know how to do their job – let them do it.
No matter how badly you want someone, take the time to explore each other instead of just jumping on him without warning. Foreplay is great for heightening the mood, and fabulous for building the tension up to a crescendo. Kiss, touch, tease, undress each other slowly… Trust us, it all adds up in the end.
If you like something, you gotta let him know. And tell him what you want as well. Far too often, less-than-great sex is a result of partners not knowing what the other person is going for. If you want to be a good lover, tell him what makes you tick, and what he’s doing for and to you. Nothing is as satisfying for a man as his partner being responsive.
Yes, tell him your side of it, but ask him what he wants too. Bringing your partner pleasure may not be the only thing on your priority list (yes, it’s okay to care about your own pleasure!), but it sure as hell should be pretty high on it. Figure out what turns him on, and what really turns him on. That’s how you make it unforgettable for him – and for yourself!
If you want to try something new with him, or even something different from the way the two of you usually go about stuff, make sure to sound him off on it. It doesn’t hurt to say “I think I’d like to try…” and know in advance whether he’d like it too. Turning the tables on him suddenly might actually interrupt the rhythm of things, so lay some groundwork.
By the same token, if he wants to try something else, keep an open mind. Unless it’s something seriously weird or icky, of course. Give it a shot before you shoot him down about stuff – nothing is arousing to a man as his partner being willing to play along with him when he tells her his deepest desires.
If you don’t like it, you must tell him – but sensitively and politely. Harsh criticism in bed is a downer for everyone, whether man or woman. Saying “This feels a bit uncomfortable, can we try that instead…” is definitely a better way of expressing your discomfort than “OMG, this sucks!”
Be appreciative of the fact that there is another human being in bed with you – a degree of intimacy that is hard to match in most life situations. So make an effort – not just for him, but for yourself too. It’s easy to become blase about sex over time, and even take it for granted – but remember that this is an occasion when the two of you are quite vulnerable to each other. Don’t be “Oh, we’re just doing it” – be “Yay, we’re doing it!” It’s definitely going to make for a better, more intense experience for both of you.
Because not only do you want to be a great lover, but safe too! So don’t risk catching a disease or an unplanned pregnancy by omitting protection from the mix. Remember, the whole point of being a great lover is to create incredible memories not just for him but for yourself too. Stay safe, and be amazing! 🙂
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