We all felt it when Vidya Balan said, “Women want it, need it, like it as much as they do”. It felt like a silver lining that would pave way for conversation around female sexuality and pleasure. However, even though we are becoming increasingly aware, do we truly know all there is about female sexuality and the sexual attraction process?
Female pleasure is a multi faceted concept with information that goes far beyond common, general knowledge. Women are sexual beings. We crave sexual intimacy just as much but we rarely show it as openly. And we owe it to factors like societal stigmas, expectations, even the way we have been brought up in our education system. We have been trained at both schools and homes to keep mum about anything even remotely related to our sexuality. While we are all trying to break free from those patterns, the lack of information on the topic acts as a roadblock in the way.
So what can we do to set our inhibitions free and take control of the parts of ours that are waiting to explore? Here are a few insights on female sexuality and and sexual attraction process that will make this journey easier for you-
1. Women need to know that their sexuality is accepted and celebrated
Women need to feel that their partners accept their sexuality and treat it as an extension of them altogether. We need to feel that your feelings and desires won’t change and that you won’t view us in a different light once we have opened up about our sexual desires. We should feel assured that you will continue to respect and adore us even after we express our sexual feelings.
This does not mean that you should expect something in return for accepting a woman’s sexuality. But it surely gives way for a better understanding in the bedroom (or any other place). You simply can’t force one’s sexuality to come forth, it requires the proper environment, nurturing, care, feelings and more.
2. A woman may orgasm incredibly fast, incredibly slow or not at all in majority of the cases
According to numerous scientific researches, 1 in 3 women do not orgasm and this is a high percentage of women who are not feeling complete in their sexual pleasure. Female pleasure is known to be a layered concept. So in order to reach climax, there are a number of different factors at play including mental, emotional, physical, etc. For women, intercourse is equally mental and physical. It is heavily influenced by their mental psyche.
Therefore, a leading cause why women orgasm scantily is because of all the stress, anxiety and lack of self awareness too in some cases. The lack of self awareness is a huge agent in terms of exploring the full length of one’s sexuality. And the stigma and shame attached to it does not help at all. Exploring one’s desires, bodies and likings goes a long way and helps in easing the situation.
3. Being sexually aroused properly (/enough) takes both time and effort
Arousal is a response to desire and/or stimulation. It is a slow and gradual process for females as there are quite a few biological processes at play simultaneously. The entire female body functions in tandem, starting from the brain that sends signals to the rest of their bodies, especially the genitalia. There are both psychological and physiological changes involved in the female arousal process. And only after a woman is turned on enough, does intercourse actually become pleasurable for her as only then is her body able to receive and infer the stimuli being produced in her brain.
4. In order for women to reach orgasm, fear and anxiety must be avoided at all costs
Our environment has programmed us into being ashamed of our sexuality so we tone down this part of us, hide it from the world and lock it away at times; even from ourselves. It has been fed to us and ingrained in our minds that having sexual desires and expressing them is wrong and something to be muted, controlled, hidden away.
So it comes as no surprise that one of the biggest factors holding back women’s sexual freedom is the overly analytical and anxious part of our minds. The personal judgements and insecurities must be calmed and handled in a way that helps us relax and embody our sexuality.
Exploring one’s sexuality and sexual likings is a fun but long process so it should be gradual, stress-free and easy flowing; not something that one should have to force. So take your time and have fun!
