12 Kickass Replies For When Your Ex Asks ‘Are You Still Single?’

Heartbreaks are a part and parcel of life. We can try and avoid it, but we can also live through it and emerge stronger than before. However, there’s no telling when that slimy ex of yours will bring the rain crashing down on your sunshine parade, and you need to be prepared to nip the drama in the bud before it brings bad vibes in your life again. Here are 12 kickass replies to those ‘Are you still single?’ questions from your ex that you’d love to use when the opportunity arrives.

1. Why? Are you writing for the page 3 gossip columns now?

2. Yes, because unlike your ego, I don’t need a person to validate my existence.

3. Nah, I actually want to breathe, unlike in my previous relationship.

4. No, but could you stay away? I can smell your desperation and it’s poisoning me.

5. Yeah, since I realized my hand gets me off better than you ever did. *burn*

6. And you’re still being a disgrace to mankind?

7. No, but I just got off the phone with your self-respect, and he is begging you to stop.

8. Yes. Your best friend says ‘Hi’.

9. *flip him the finger* *walk away*

10. I wish I wasn’t, but there are so many Tinder dates and so little time!

11. I had forgotten how irritating your voice was; thank you for the reminder.

12. Don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street. (Because it doesn’t get more kickass than Sherlock’s scathing insults!)

GIFs: Tumblr