2019 is almost over! It’s finally that time of the year when everybody makes resolutions that they plan to follow through the new year. This time, do something different and make New Year resolutions with your spouse! Keeping them with your husband or wife will not only be fun, but it’ll also be a great exercise in relationship building and strengthening. And if these promises help you get the spark back into your marriage, then they will be totally worth it. After all, don’t we all want to be the coolest couple and total #goals? So here is a list of New Year’s Resolutions 2020 to keep your relationship rockin’ all year long!
New Year’s resolutions aren’t just something our parents or grandparents came up with to force us to lose weight, work harder or in general, lead a better life. In fact, you’re taking part in a custom that is older than what you can imagine. The origin of this custom of New Year resolutions can be traced back to almost 4,000 years ago to the Babylonians. In those times, the Babylonians rang in the new year with a two week long festival in March in which they made promises to gods in hopes of earning food favours from them in the coming year.
Roman emperor Julius Caesar moved the first day of the year to January 1, as a mark of respect to Janus, the Roman god of new beginnings. The first day of the new year became a day of oath-taking, temple sacrifices and social activities.
Over time, the resolutions evolved and became more about self and less about society once the empires began moving from wars to peace. As people realised the importance of self-fulfillment and self-improvement, the modern tradition of New Year resolutions began which helped people become better versions of themselves and contribute more, in a personal capacity, to the society.
Quite the history lesson, wasn’t this? Well, you learn something new every day!
As time passes, complacency seems to set into relationships, especially marriage. It’s not a conscious decision but most people do end up taking their partners for granted. This leads to reduced communication and increased distance between partners. That’s exactly what makes New Year resolutions so important for couples.
Like I said, over time, life tends to catch up with us and a lot of couples tend to drift apart under the pressure of responsibilities and work. But making resolutions will force you two to make more time for each other and it’ll bring you closer like you were in the initial days.
As you two spend more time together and indulge in activities together, you’ll start to understand one another better. New Year’s resolutions ideas like sharing your feeling with the other one in times of distress instead of shutting off to the world or coming to each other for solutions will have you two communicating better. And as they say, communication is key, even to a good relationship.
The term “recommitment”, in this case, can be defined as the conscious intention to choose a new and more loving path with your partner in the coming year. Both of you are about to enter into a transformative process where both partners want to be better than they’ve been before in every way they can.
A New Year’s resolution that involves undertaking a new activity together like joining a dance class or a gym will definitely increase the intimacy in your relationship. You could even resolve to try new things in bed!
New year resolutions force people to take stock of their life and evaluate what’s working and what’s not. That’s what this will do for couples as well - it’ll force you to introspect and find out what’s holding your relationship back and stopping you two from growing together.
With kids, families and career, sometimes your partner becomes less of a priority. By making some promises you plan to see through, you actually make them a priority again and put them in their rightful place in your life - at the top!
In this article, we’ve included little promises you can make to each other’s family, friends and loved ones. All these are things that would require minimal effort but will help you get closer to them and live like one big, happy family!
While every couple comes up with their own promises, here are some New Year’s resolution examples that’ll help you come up with your own.
Prepare a bucket list of activities that you and your husband wanted to do for so long but haven’t been able to get around to it. It could be traveling, adventure sports or something as simple as trying out a new restaurant you’ve been meaning to eat at. Resolution or no resolution, make this year really interesting!
Letting go of negative influences becomes such a task when you have to do it alone. But when you have a partner working with you to give up the same thing, it gets much easier. Even if it’s not the same bad habit, you can each break one together. You can try cutting down on your sugar intake while s/he reduces their alcohol intake.
We’re so careful with our friends, making sure we value them and are always there for them. Between friends, there is no place for judgement or anger and we end up forgiving a lot of their vices because we love them so much. It is important to do the same for your partner as well. Hold them to the same standard and treat them just like you would treat your friends.
If either of you is finding it difficult to shed those extra kgs or tone your leg muscles, become each other’s gym buddies. This way you’re not only achieving a personal goal, but you’ll also have your biggest cheerleader supporting you through the journey, even on the toughest days.
You may have one of those weird telepathic connections where you usually get to know what the other person is up to but you still need to try and surprise each other more often! Even if it’s tiny things like getting your wife chocolate while coming back from work or leaving a note in their bag, it’ll be so much fun!
Technology, from our cell phones to our televisions, has become such an intricate part of our lives that we do not even realize how much time we’re wasting because of it. From Instagram to Netflix, we spend hours on our electronic devices even when we don’t want to! So try and make your bedroom a technology-free zone. Don’t have a television in there and leave your mobile on charge outside the bedroom. This will give you two the time to reconnect without the outside influences.
We’ve established that adulthood is boring and adulting is very hard. So why don’t you two promise to play a little? I’m not talking about the dirty, bedroom type of play. I’m talking about the pillow fights and tickling fest kinda play. So let go sometimes and do silly little things that bring you joy such as talking in funny voices or pranking each other. Laughing will bring you two closer like nothing else
Show each other off ALL. THE. TIME. Leave no chance to tell the world how awesome your partner is, how good-looking they are, how well they are doing in their career. You chose this person to be your spouse and let the world know you chose well! Also, the smile on your husband or wife’s face will be priceless.
There are five types of love languages and you need to find out your partner's. Basically, there are five different love languages: material gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. Assess what is your partner’s love language and love them in that way, instead of loving them in your language. Doesn’t this make so much sense?
Most people need some ‘me’ time to recuperate and get back into the game. Be respectful of your partner’s needs and give them alone time whenever they need it. They do not need to be away from you, they just want to be by themselves so refrain from making it all about yourself.
There’s nothing to explain in this, just make each other laugh every day. That’s the secret to a successful relationship.
Girls’/Boys’ nights out are not hyped enough. We all love our partners but sometimes we do want to spend some time with our friends. So promise to let each other have a night of some friendly fun without holding it against them.
It is important to keep your resolutions basic and easy to follow. While at the start of the year, you might aim high and want a lot of self-improvement but remember that all things can’t be achieved at once. The best thing to do is choose small goals instead of big ones and aim to work towards them.
The resolutions you pick should be your priority and have an immediate effect on your happiness. If you think that any problems in your relationship are only because you don’t spend enough time together, promise yourself that you’ll have at least two date nights every week, no matter what. Don’t add different dimensions to it and complicate it.
You may think that you’re setting reasonable goals but life has a way of catching up with you, with all the schedules and responsibilities. So sit down, discuss and write down all your new year resolutions, what you can and cannot achieve. Also, ask yourself why you failed the last time and factor in the same to be able to achieve your goals this time around.
You’re not going to achieve all your goals in the first week itself. You’ll build the habit over time. So if you resolved to spend more time together this year, start out by one date night per week and then increase it gradually.
Make a habit tracker for the two of you where you can note down how well you’re doing. Having physical proof of your progress is going to work as a great motivator.
Don’t berate yourself everytime you don’t achieve something but be sure to praise each other when you do something right. Negative motivation works less than you’d think and it wouldn’t get you closer to your partner for sure!
Keeping New Year's resolutions is hard and that is exactly why you two need each other’s constant support. For instance, if one of you forgets a date night, the other should plan to surprise them instead of taking offense or being angry at them. Things get tough for the best of us! Lift each other up always!
Even if you fail once, don’t give up. Excuses are easy but an effort is so darn sexy! You’re doing this for each other so even if you fall off the wagon once or twice, don’t give up altogether!
This story was updated in December 2019.
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