Nirav and I had been on texting terms for a week when he first turned the conversation a little sexual I found it odd, because we had only met each other once before. He was really charming and sweet and I was, well… Single. It wasn’t a proper sexting session but the conversation did have a sexy angle to it.
It was weeks later that we had our first sex chat. We were talking about how people chose flings and casual sex over proper relationships when he asked me what I felt about it. One thing led to another when he asked me if I’d like to kiss him the next time I met him. And that’s how I started sexting him.
I must admit, I was interested in him for not just something casual but maybe something more. Yes, we didn’t know each other all that well but it often happens that the initial phase of a relationship blinds you and you can’t see right from wrong. So I moved on with a sexy reply.
He asked me about what I was wearing and moved on to talk a little about how he’d like to take it off. I replied, ‘Well, I would love for you to have a closer look as well’ and eagerly waited for his reply. But he didn’t text back. An hour passed, two hours passed and there was no reply. I didn’t know what to do, ‘Maybe he got busy!’ I thought, before I went off to sleep, even though I knew deep down I was lying to myself.
I had a troubled sleep that night but woke up in high spirits expecting an apology message from him, but there was nothing. The rest of the day was terrible for me and I just couldn’t understand why he hadn’t replied. It was annoying and upsetting at the same time.
I was overthinking and wondering what to do… Should I text him? But he had disappeared in the middle of a sex conversation and I had no idea why. My ego stopped me from texting but my heart and curiosity both wanted to know what happened. It was only at the end of the day when I opened his Facebook account and saw that he had been active ever since the previous night, that I realised I had been ghosted.
I couldn’t grasp why, though and even a week later, I felt pathetic. Ghosting was rejection at it’s worst and I had no clue how to handle it in a positive way. I would find myself checking my phone and wondering if he’d ever reply.
I took me a month to finally accept that I needed to let this go and I can say for sure that it wasn’t an easy month. It was probably the worst kind of break-up you can go through. The kind where you can’t even call it a break-up. However, time made me realise how important patience in a relationship is and sometimes you have to move on even without a closure. From that day, I am careful about who I actually trust or don’t and I think it’s an important life lesson.
*Names changed to protect privacy.
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