It is one thing to be cheated on, it’s completely different to actually catch your partner in the act. The undeniable proof of the betrayal that’s right in front of your face feels like a kick in the gut and the pain of the same lasts a while. I know this in such detail because it has happened to me.
Kabir and I met at a common friend’s birthday party. He was Kanika’s neighbour and I was her school friend. We talked for the first time at the party and danced together for a while. He was a really sweet guy and I thought nothing more of him at that point.
Two or three days later, I got a text from him at night. ‘Hey! The other day was so much fun.’ I replied asking who it was and the reply, ‘Kabir. I got your number from Kanika!’ popped up on my cell phone screen. I was surprised that he went to such lengths to just tell me he had fun with me. ‘I had fun too. Thanks!’ I texted back and went to sleep. The next morning there was a text from him again. This led to us texting on and off throughout the day for almost a week. One night, he called me to talk to me and from that time onwards, our nightly calls became a part of my routine.
Cue to three months later, when he confessed his feelings to me. By that time, I was in too deep as well. I told him I had feelings for him too and we started dating immediately. We’d meet as often as we could, bunk college to go watch movies, steal kisses in the car and go on dates to cute places. We started hanging out with each other’s friends and soon we introduced each other to our families. We were totally happy and on top of the world.
After a year of dating, college ended and we started working in different places. He joined his dad’s business and I started working with an MNC. Our working hours were completely different and so were our schedules. We started spending less and less time together and met only during weekends or after my office hours, which was also rare. Also, we started arguing constantly, something that had never happened in the past.
After a while, I could feel his behaviour towards me change. He became infrequent with his calls, would reply to my messages after hours and would make no effort at all to meet me. It was starting to break my heart but I could not understand what was happening. People were able to manage long distance relationships and here I was, failing at one when both of us lived in the same city.
During this time, he met a girl at a work event and started talking a lot to her. I felt extremely uncomfortable due to their increasing closeness but I chose to say nothing and give him the benefit of doubt considering the fact that he would tell me about all their conversations and would hide nothing. One day, I just decided to check his facebook messenger. I had the password to it but had never really thought of using it until now! You can judge me for being the snoopy girlfriend, but my gut feeling was telling me that something was wrong.
To my horror, and mild satisfaction, I was right. In his inbox was a complete history of messages he had shared with her, including some very detailed messages about how beautiful she was, how much he loved her and how he couldn’t wait to kiss her. I read the whole thing and closed my laptop. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Kabir was perfect, he wouldn’t do this to me. Our families knew about us, there was too much at stake for him to cheat so easily.
That night, I did not answer his calls or even reply to his messages. I needed to process this new development that had occurred in my relationship, without my permission. At that time, I wasn’t heartbroken, I was angry. Heartbreak and pain would come later - first, I needed answers. I went through all his possible social media accounts and found out that he had booked a table for them at an upscale restaurant for the very next day - the jerk!! I decided to go to the restaurant and confront them. Even though it was petty, there was no other way to do this!
I landed up at the restaurant in the middle of their date. His face was priceless and he started stuttering as soon as he saw me. The shocking part was that even the girl was scared out of her wits when she saw me. It was clear to me that she knew that he was cheating on me and she was perfectly fine with it as long as she got the ‘wine and dine’ experience. I gave him one tight slap right in the middle of the restaurant and walked off without another word.
Later that night, I told my parents the whole thing. They needed to know and, in my self-righteous rage, I also told his mother (who I was on excellent terms with) and all his friends. I never picked up his calls or replied to his texts after that day.
It’s been six months since our break up and I’m doing much better now. I mean, it does hurt whenever a stray thought enters my mind and I am still mad at him, but I’m learning to cope with it. Funnily enough, I’m still on excellent terms with his mother, who calls me sometimes just to chat with me. She does apologize for the actions of her son every time but I know it’s not her fault so I don’t hold it against her. Yes, I am the girl who caught her boyfriend cheating but I am also the girl who got past it with dignity.
* Names changed to protect privacy
Published on Apr 25, 2017