This story was updated in February 2019.
Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to say something to someone but couldn’t find the words to say it? What’s worse? The wittiest line comes to mind right after that moment is gone! It is always better to have a list of insult comebacks ready, you know, just in case.
Win The War With These Witty Insults
Here are 15 funny comebacks and insults that will be of use and come in handy when you want to kill ‘em with kindness! *Wink*
1. When someone you don’t like says something completely stupid…
‘I’d give you a really nasty look but guess what? You’ve already got one!’
2. When someone gives you an opinion that you don’t really need
‘If you will forgive me for being personal - I do not like your face.’
- Agatha Christie, Murder on the Orient Express
3. When your ex wants to be friends with you
‘He would make a lovely corpse.’
- Charles Dickens, The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit
4. When your best friend doesn’t know when to shut up
‘It’s better to stay quiet and let people assume you’re an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it to them!’
5. Subtle signals to your ex?
‘Just because you have one, does not mean you have to act like one.’
6. To all those nosy aunties
‘Remember when we wanted to know what you feel? Yeah! Me neither!’
7. To the boy who has been in and out of the relationship
‘Someday I hope you go really far… And stay there. Yes, please?’
8. For everyone who lets you down
‘Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers but only the third one is for you.’
9. When your bestie rants about her ex-boyfriend
‘You have to stop the Q-Tip when there is resistance!’
- Chandler Bing, F.R.I.E.N.D.S
10. When you meet someone shady!
‘I am so jealous of the people who haven’t met you.’
11. Insulting someone, the F.R.I.E.N.D.S way...
‘Your opinion is ‘Moo’ for me!’
12. When you meet a really dumb person
‘Shock me, please? Go on, say something intelligent.’
13.When you’re done and dusted with people and life!
‘Earth is full, please go back home, guys!’
14. When someone annoys you with continuous blabbering!
‘Your lips keep moving but all I hear is “Blah, blah, blah.’
15. When you’re done listening to them brag about themselves!
‘You remind me of a Russian doll, full of yourself.’