Who do you want to have sex with and when you want to have it, is totally your decision. You should feel mentally and physically ready when you take the plunge, and that works both ways. So, if you are planning to have sex with him tonight or some night in the near future, read this before you do. Here are 11 questions you must ask him before having sex with him...
1. Is this your first time?
Don’t assume things. It is a good idea to know if it is your partner’s first time. Neither of you should be ashamed of it, either way. Also, if it indeed his first time, you can make sure that it is unforgettably mind-blowing. *Wink*
2. Have you had multiple sex partners? If yes, how many?
If he answers no to the first question, be sure you ask him this question. Not for judging him, of course, but having multiple sex partners puts a person at a greater risk of contracting an STI or an STD. So let’s do the digging before we jump into bed, right, girls?
3. When was the last time you got yourself tested for any STIs or STDs?
This question is important anyway, but more so if the answer to the question 1 is yes. And no, having gotten tested 5 years back does not count. It is important that both of you be tested for STDs and STIs not too far back in the past.
4. Do you always use a condom while having sex?
‘I manage to pull out in time’ or ‘Condoms make it less pleasurable’ are not acceptable excuses for not wearing a condom. In fact, nothing is. Apart from preventing pregnancy, it also protects against STDs and STIs. So if he refuses to wear a condom, you may just as easily refuse to have sex with him. No shame in being careful.
5. What do you feel about oral sex?
Ask him this to know exactly what you are getting into. If he doesn’t like giving it then you can totally skip giving it too. If he doesn't like receiving it, then you know what not to initiate. It's always good to know the boundaries!
6. Is there anything that freaks you out in bed?
Knowing his bed peeves will come in handy when your naughty self decides to surprise him in bed. Just so it remains a surprise and doesn’t become a shock!
7. Do you have another sexual partner, apart from me, at this point in time?
You want to know that. Trust us, you do. And not just for health reasons, otherwise too. If you are not okay with the arrangement, you can totally change your mind.
8. Are you allergic to latex?
Just. Cannot. Miss. If he is allergic to latex you need to use an alternative type of condoms while having sex. This is still not a good enough excuse for giving the condom a miss.
9. Is this a one night stand or do you plan on staying for breakfast?
This one’s not a deal breaker, but it is just so you both are on the same page about the post-sex expectations.
10. Lights on or lights off?
Again, not a deal breaker. More like getting to know how it’s gonna go and what they other person's preferences are.
11. Do you *really* want to have sex?
It shouldn’t be a chore or a kind of obvious next step. Make sure he really wants to do it and is into it and not just doing it because of peer pressure. This should be all about pleasure and ecstasy or intimacy and not some kind of an obligation for either of you.