Getting married to someone is a huge decision, especially in an arranged marriage, when you don’t even know the person that well. Deciding your future based on a “yes” or a “no” must be very difficult. Have you ever thought what your future husband should be like? What qualities he should have? And what will make YOU say *yes*? Well, we don’t know about you, but some people on Quora shared what made them say yes in an arranged marriage, and the answers are really interesting. Here’s what they wrote...
1. “Because I hadn’t met anyone who would make my heart beat faster, and there wasn’t anything to dislike about him” - We see what you’re talking about!
Priya Khanna says… “I had an arranged marriage. We met at a restaurant, along with our parents. While our parents were talking, we sat at a different table so that we could talk to each other. He didn’t talk much, and I didn't have a list of questions to ask him. He must have made up his mind in that meeting, because he gave me his number and asked me to call him. Once they left, I told my mother everything, she was very happy and told me that it means “yes”! Before we reached home, they called and said “yes”. No one asked me. Since my parents accepted the rishta, everyone assumed that it was a yes from my side as well. I didn't really think about what I should look for in a prospective husband. My parents did all the hard work in matchmaking.
In my early twenties, I hadn't met anyone who made my heart beat faster. The guy my parents chose for me was very good looking, well employed and he had chosen me over other girls that he had met. There wasn’t anything to dislike about him. Whereas if I had chosen to go for a love marriage, I would have had to find someone who I liked and who liked me back, and we both should have been financially stable. Then, we would have had to convince each other's families. In an arranged marriage, everything is taken care of by our parents. If there is any problem in the marriage, both the parents help in resolving the matter, and support through difficult times. It's far easier to go for an arranged marriage if you haven't really found anyone for whom you are ready to sacrifice the rest of the world.”
2. “Because we connected!” - That is very important, my friend!
Anonymous says… “There was this moment when I met my husband on a matrimony site. He sent me a request and I accepted it, based on a few things like his education, whether or not he smoked, whether he drank, his salary and our kundali match. Then, we decided to chat on a messenger. When we started chatting, it was just getting better. And there was this moment, when I started talking about Greek mythology and I wasn’t sure if he would understand what I’m saying or not, but he did! And to my surprise, he responded with an even better example (of a Greek legend). That was when I realized that there was something special about this him.”
3. “It is basically decided by the biodata.” - Urmm… We are going to redo ours now! :P
Kajal Jaiswal says… “Well, “yes” or “no” is basically decided by the biodata of that person. In reality, you can't decide about your future in just a fraction of minutes. And, apart from the person’s appearance, what can you really get to know about him? The major influence comes from the family, who have already decided what they have to say. So, where is our role in deciding whether it’s a yes or a no? Even though it’s strange, but this is what actually happens!”
4. “Because we want our life partner to possess certain qualities!” - Yes! We agree...
Akhilesh Mourya says… “Qualities which the prospective bride or groom are looking for. Being realistic, the boy or the girl want their future partner to possess certain qualities. These traits can vary from physical appearance, behaviour, family background, and most importantly compatibility. Some compromises are made, but major traits have to be checklisted. Everyone is unique, and so are their criteria for choosing.”
Neel Kumar says… “Fear of parents’ wrath. No, I kid you not. I have seen many people who have been hounded by their parents - “What’s there to not like? He has a job, a car, he is rich, his parents are well off, and he is intelligent!” or “Are you an idiot? She is beautiful, her parents are well off, and she can even cook. What else do you want? A supermodel?”
You can read the full thread here on Quora.
Okay, these were some very interesting answers! You know, what will make us say “yes”? Fawad Khan. Hehe! :P
5. “Because of my parents…” - Waah! SO agyakari...
Published on Sep 19, 2016