If you are about to buy condoms, it can only mean one thing! Someone’s getting down to business tonight. Congratulations! However, buying a condom can be tricky business. You will need to keep these things in mind if you are about to go buy condoms.
1. The shopkeeper might give you condescending looks...
Yes, yes, it’s his job and he should just give you what you asked for. Most shopkeepers are really nice - they don’t bat an eye, they give you what you ask for, you pay, leave, no awkwardness. But be prepared to have some uncles and aunties who will stare you down like they could look into your soul. Remember that what you do with your life is none of their business. And you’re giving them business anyway!
2. You will get confused!
When you go to buy condoms, if you just ask for condoms, they will show you at least five brands. If you’re confused, ask for the best of the lot. Do not compromise on the money. Even the best won’t be too expensive to afford anyway.
3. The shopkeeper may also ask you what kind you want...
Again, do not be alarmed. There are different types of condoms. Normal ones, ultra thin ones, ribbed ones, flavoured ones. If you are very shy, discuss all of this beforehand with your boyfriend. If you didn’t have the time to do that, ask the shopkeeper. It will get a little awkward yes, but it’s better to know. (And there’s always Google too, of course!)
4. You will be nervous AF!
And that’s completely normal. Sex is such a taboo in India and a girl buying a condom?! Such blasphemy! Once you do go and buy some condoms, you’ll realize that you had no reason to be nervous though. After the first few times it will get super easy.
5. You may have to abort the purchase midway and go into James Bond mode!
You will always have to be on the lookout for any close family members, teachers, family friends, parents...anyone who may be shocked (or scandalized) to see what you’re buying. You are expected to be in stealth mode and do it as quickly as you can. Advice? Go to a store FAR away from home.
6. Going with a friend is always better.
A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Buying condoms for the first time can be a little hard, so take a friend along because that way you have some emotional support. Even if she hasn’t done this before!
7. Check the expiry date.
Yes, like every other thing, condoms too have an expiry date. And that is the most important thing to check. Also, check for tiny holes in the packaging and if at all the packet has been opened accidentally.
8. It comes in two packs...
A small pack of three condoms and a bigger pack of 10 or 12 condoms. Decide which one do you want, before you go to buy them. Depending on your requirement!
9. The shopkeeper might hand it to you like it were drugs!
You know how sanitary napkins are sold? In that brown paper bag, so that the world doesn’t see? Yes, some shops do the same with condoms too. They are always in a rush to get the transaction over with. Don’t get hassled though, maintain your confidence and power through!
10. Call it a condom.
The easiest way to buy a condom is simply ask for one by its name. Don’t ask for a rubber, or a “chhatri”, any other name or make weird hand gestures. Just simply ask for a condom.
11. Do your research.
Ask people which brand they like the best. The internet will tell you exactly what sells and what doesn’t. Pick the one with the highest number of votes and the best reviews. Also, read about quality and materials if you really want to be thorough.