While I think it’s amazing when you marry the man you love, it is an equally great feeling to finally fall in love with the man you are married to. In my case, the latter happened. I met him 18 months ago when I was meeting guys in the arranged marriage setup, and that is where our story began. It’s been a year since we tied the knot and I have learnt so much from him during our journey together. My love and respect for the person that he is, has only grown.
Firstly, I believe that he is my best friend – the friendship we share is the kind you read in books and watch in the movies. I’ve had my share of good, great and best friends, but this one is my favourite of the lot – he is just how a “real” friend should be.
Like everyone else, I also have my set of flaws. He loves me nonetheless and accepts most of my flaws. The good part is, he tells me point blank about the flaws that he feels I can and should rectify. What I admire here is his quality to be honest and upfront. It’s challenging for me to realize when I’m wrong and very often, I refuse to accept my fault. But he has the ability to make me understand where and when I go wrong, and that too with great ease. This helps me a great deal, and I am thankful to him for being there for me.
Some of his qualities that I wish I possessed are his honesty and straightforwardness. His ultimate motive isn’t to please people and keep them happy – instead, he believes that he’d rather be upfront and speak the truth ALWAYS. This is the reason why people who know him well, respect him for being so clear at all times. So whatever he says is taken more seriously because people are aware that the things he says are as genuine as can be. He speaks his mind and never minces his words – a trait very few people can boast of.
I, on the other hand, am always trying to please people. In the bargain, I end up in numerous murky situations. Another problem I deal with often is not being able to say no to others. Thankfully, I have his clean heart and honesty as an example before my eyes that I can learn from. I understand that one needs to be highly confident and sure of himself/ herself to be this way. Step by step, I have watched my husband in many situations and have learnt from him; And so far, the progress is satisfactory.
I have finally started to speak my mind and have become less tolerant towards nuisance (and rightly so). Also, I have stopped pretending and being unnecessarily nice to people who I say are my friends, but don't share that close a relationship with them. Maybe I have gathered the courage to be this way because I know he is there to hold me, support me and be by my side when I feel horrible about doing these things. It’s not an easy process, after all. But this has helped me a lot - I feel more sorted now, less negative, more confident of myself and proud of being the new me!
So here’s to the love, friendship and positivity that this arranged marriage has brought into my life.