The first time that I ever got into a “serious” relationship is a memory I can’t get over till date. It’s not like he was my first love or anything, but he was definitely the kind of love I invested my heart, soul and body into. It was the very first time that I felt so strongly for someone. Something so strange, so rare and so alien to me.
I have to confess, I’ve dated other guys in the past. I’ve even shared intimate bonds with each of them. However, I didn’t share that special connection with anyone… until I met him. You see, I’ve always been the kind of girl who really gets freaked out by getting into committed relationships. I like to be independent and free as a bird. I can’t stand the idea of someone holding me back and wanting me to compromise on things I’m not comfortable with. In short, I’m afraid of getting emotionally attached to someone.
It was the first day of college. New faces everywhere! I found my way to my class and found a group who shared similar interests. Three boys were sitting just behind us. They would play pranks and crack lame jokes all through the lectures. I found that annoying at first, but after a couple of days, I got used to it. From the three boys, one guy caught my attention. Certainly, not in a good way. Although he was fun and smart, he was a bully. He used to prank people for fun. He did that to my friends first, and he tried doing it to me once. That was first and last time he ever took my case. And that’s because I told him to back off.
Later that day, I found a note lying on my desk. It said “I’m sorry, Strawberry Shortcake” (because I’m petite) and a smiley followed at the end. As the days went by, he stopped troubling me. Surprisingly, he became really sweet. He offered to carry my bag while I was walking up to class, randomly bought me a chocolate bar and took down extra notes for me if I didn’t make it to class on time.
One fine day, while I was walking from college to Churchgate station, I felt a tap on my back. It was him! He wanted to return the iPod that I had left in class. He then asked me if I was I was hungry and that he knew a place that made the most amazing chocolate sandwiches.
The invite was too tempting to turn down. So while we walked, we started talking casually. I have to admit it was fun. I felt that I could talk to him about anything and everything. There was an instant click. And the best part was that we both felt it.
From binging on chocolate sandwiches to late night text messaging, I started falling for him slowly. One day he asked me, “are we dating?!” I got goosebumps! We didn’t put a tag on it, but it felt that way. I murmured and said, “I guess we are.” All of a sudden we both went silent. And then, he broke the silence and said, “I couldn’t be happier.”
The next day when I walked into class and saw his face, I couldn’t help but blush. Our friends obviously noticed it, and kept teasing the two of us together until we told everyone we’re dating. None of them took us seriously, but it didn’t bother either of us. We were content that we had each other.
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Month after month, he slowly started opening up to me. He told me his deepest fears, secrets, goals and happiest moments. I did the same until we were both left feeling transparent.
I never felt that way about anyone before. Was I getting serious about a relationship for the first time?! Most definitely, yes. It was a feeling I was totally comfortable with. It felt new. It felt refreshing. I loved the idea of falling in love all over again.
Like all relationships, we’ve faced rough patches too. We’ve found ways to put them behind us. We knew, even then, that everything was going to be just fine. After a couple of years, the relationship became too much for us to handle. There were constant fights, insecurities and bitterness. We just didn’t feel right about it. We broke it off eventually and we mutually decided to focus on our professional lives instead.
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I must admit, I’ve had breakups in the past, but none of them hurt me this bad. I genuinely missed his touch and presence in my life. I even tried patching up with him. It didn’t work out… We both were on different pages in our lives at that time. However, I have come to terms with the fact that everyone who comes into our life, comes with a purpose. Once it’s completed, they move on so that new people can step in. All you can keep with you are the memories you had with them.
We’ve both moved our separate ways, but I will always have a soft corner for him. I wish him happiness and I look forward to greener pastures in life now. The going gets better eventually.
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