Many of our parents didn’t really have the option of a love marriage… But a large number of people from our generation do have that option. Yet, a lot of us still opt for arranged marriages. It’s not for the lack of options – but because so many other factors come into play. If you’re considering going for an arranged set-up too, then here’s why you don’t need to worry too much about it!
All your cards are on the table from the start!
Anonymous on Quora: Let’s think of the ideal scenario… A man or a woman lists what he/she looks for in their life-partner, gets the options in front of them on the table, has relatives and friends helping them in every possible way, many compatibility factors are automatically sorted-out and when they actually enter into the marriage, their expectations are simple and they blindly trust each other and their commitment. Why the hell won’t this work?
Because love isn’t all that matters – you need understanding, respect, trust and so many other things!
Divya Sharma Dixit on Quora: Arranged marriages are not a curse. Going by statistics more than 60 percent of marriages that happen in India are arranged marriages. Not because love is a taboo but because in India there are many things that come before love as well.
And the love might come a bit later, but it does does come!
Anonymous on Quora: The process is structured to best find someone who’s going to be most compatible with you based on a set of specific criteria important to you. There’s undoubtedly going to be a lot of attraction between you and your partner, without which you wouldn’t have gone through all the meetings and agreed to spend your life together. You would’ve stopped the process and started looking at other matches much earlier. With that said, most arranged marriage couples fall in love with each other after the engagement.
If our parents can find happiness in an arranged marriage, why can’t we?
Neha Gupta on Quora: To this day, in spite of lack of emotional and monetary support of the family during times of need, my parents have never quarreled. They are very expressive and clear in case of misunderstandings. They are very different from each other but think extremely alike. And I have never seen them mad at each other in the twenty-one years of my life. They’ll complete twenty-eight years as an ideal happy couple the coming Rose Day. So here goes – yeah, arranged marriages in India can work out pretty well!
And this answer just beautifully wraps up everything!
Dhivya Ram on Quora: As an indian, I think there are three main reasons why arranged marriages work, or have worked largely so far:
1. Most of us think there are more important things than ourselves in the world, like the people we love (parents, children and the joint families in the past made one think of family members than one’s self alone).
2. We accept that humans (our partners) are imperfect and mistakes happen.
3. We believe in growing in love, than falling in and out of love.
There are pros and cons for both arranged and love marriages. And there are exceptions to all the rules. Every marriage is different in it’s own way. Just remember, in the end, the decision lies with you! All the best! 🙂
You can read the full Quora thread here.
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