I want to adopt a child and no, I am not saying this because I have some medical condition. I am a 28-year-old single healthy girl who wants to adopt a child.
Yes, this desire of mine has raised many eyebrows. It specially created quite a drama when I expressed this wish of mine to a guy I met for my marriage.
Like any arranged marriage set up, first both the families met and when both parties were satisfied with each other the guy and I met alone. We started off with regular questions about each other, we were both somewhat nervous, and then came the question about kids. And my answer to this question became the deal-breaker.
I told him that I want to adopt a child and trust me the look on his face said it all. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Well, I actually kind of expected that he would be surprised. A guy is bound to be taken aback when the girl he is considering getting married to, says that she wants to bring in someone else’s child in his family. After the initial shock, he just laughed and completely dismissed the whole topic as if it wasn’t worth giving any thought.
“Why can’t a couple adopt a child? What is so funny about that?” I asked him. And he said, “Adoption is just for the couples who cannot have a baby.” He even said something to the effect of what will society say. Yes, an educated man who belonged to the so-called modern thinking Indian society had this opinion. He even went on to warn me to not even mention the word adoption in front of his parents. I just told him, “I don’t think I would want to meet your parents”.
It is so strange that we give so much importance to what others think and often stifle our beliefs and happiness just so that the society doesn’t question us. And the notion that adoption is only for the couples who can’t conceive is absolutely ridiculous. We need to discard this belief… Adoption need not be just a solution/ last resort for couples who cannot have a child; it can be a choice you make.
There are so many children who have been left orphaned and just imagine how great it would be if you could give them the feeling of being a part of a family. They also deserve love and happiness and you can give them that.
I know how women talk about the wonderful feeling of mothering a child. And I know it is an experience every woman treasures the most, but I feel that I can experience the same even when I adopt a child. I feel raising a child, even if I didn’t give birth to him/her, will make me experience motherhood.
I am single and I intend to adopt a child. Is it difficult to find a guy who will marry me knowing that I want to fulfil this wish of mine? Yes, it is… believe me, I know. But I know I am not wrong in making this choice and I will stand by this.
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Published on May 28, 2016