Spring often reminds us of annual cleaning and scrubbing off the dirt. Just like it’s important to let go of the old to bring in the new in our closets and homes, our relationships too need a bit of introspection. You may not be able to see emotional baggage, but it’s there and that is what causes stress and chaos in your relationship. Here’s how you can clear the clutter at the root and free your relationship of all negativity!
The first and foremost thing in any relationship is communication - but what’s more important is the right kind of communication. Pay attention to small words and phrases that you may use often, but that actually might be upsetting your partner. Kick the “BUTs” and “NOTs” as these words refute whatever you said before them and make your partner feel negative. Just say what you mean and keep it simple.
2. Take action
Make a list of emotionally sensitive issues and try discussing them, one by one, with your partner. Don’t let it sound offensive or get defensive when he says something - and understand that the goal of the session is to find a solution, not to go on an accusation trip.
3. Face your demons
There are times you get emotional or feel hurt because of him, but do nothing about it. Get these fears and apprehensions out from the closet and work towards them. Make hard decisions that will eventually lead you into a zen, happy space. Life is short and precious, don’t waste it in grudges and fear.
4. Pay attention
To yourself and him. Your health should be your top priority because only if your body and heart are fit, you can make each other happy – physically and emotionally.
5. Keep a gratitude log
Appreciate what you have. Write it down. Whether it was him waiting for you for 30 minutes outside your office or it is that call he makes every afternoon to check if you’ve finished lunch…these are good things. Never take them for granted. Counting your blessings will help bring balance to your life. Also, it’ll be hard for you to be mad at each other often.
6. Write a journal
Our minds are full of thoughts, judgments, expectations, and fears. All that negativity in your head…let it escape, so that you can look at life from a distance and be at peace with things that bottle up. Every now and then, let your partner read it, so he knows how you feel about certain things. Letting it out is healthy.
7. Laugh together
Laughter relieves stress. It lightens you up from within - so do it together. Watch funny sitcoms, read the comic strip, play with kids or pets and really laugh. A deep, hearty one.
8. Zone out
Take time to rest your mind every day. This means no TV, no conversation, and no reading either. Shut down. Breath. Be.
9. Do fun stuff together
Find an activity that makes you both happy - dance, yoga, running, playing chess… Anything. Do it together.
10. Be kind
Offer a helping hand or give him a compliment, everyday. It clears the virtual mental block that builds over time.