convincing my parents for the man I loved

#MyStory: It Took Me Two Years To Convince My Parents…


Guest Contributor

I am a happily married woman with a totally masala Bollywood-style love story. And while I did go through a torturous 2 years fighting for the love of my life, today I am glad I have a story to share and a story that will always hold the two of us together.

It all started around 7 years ago when I met Kabir* during my sister's wedding prep. He was my to-be-jiju’s best friend and it didn’t take me long to fall for him. He wasn’t someone with to-die-for looks but, yes, he did have a way with words. He was a charmer and getting attracted to him was only natural.

Our relationship began almost mutually. No one asked out the other one, it was just understood. We were the best of friends and graduated to being lovers. One year into the relationship and we both knew that we wanted this to be a lifelong commitment. Kabir had been extremely close to my parents and I knew that the news of our relationship would absolutely thrill them. But I was wrong. So, so wrong.

Breaking the news to my parents made me see a side of them that I had no idea about. They were completely against the match but to see them opposing it so strongly came as a shock. Everyone, from my sister to jiju, suddenly turned away from me because no one wanted to get involved in this totally messed up and ugly situation.

I’d had a wonderful family life till then and the daily fights at home completely stressed me out. I lost the will to study further or find a job. My mother went into depression and for the first time I saw my dad cry. I would spend my days driving around aimlessly through the city or sitting on the terrace of our building even during hot summer afternoons. My family was falling apart and soon the tamasha became public. Our neighbours could hear the screams and the wails well into the middle of the night and the gossipy aunties made the situation only worse.

I do know that, “Ma-baap hamesha bachon ka accha hi chahte hain and that’s the reason I had always listened to my parents. But this time I knew they were being absolutely unreasonable. They didn’t approve of Kabir’s occupation, which really is one of the most respected professions in our country. They had an issue with his dusky complexion, that he came from a different caste and didn’t belong to an ‘influential’ family, the likes of which had been approaching my dad for my rishta.

I cannot even begin to explain just how horrendous those 2 years were. Everything - from my career to my health to my peace of mind - came crashing down. It affected my parents’ health too to an immense degree, and the atmosphere at home was just eating every one of us up. I knew that within their hearts of hearts, my parents were aware that Kabir was not such a bad match. But seeing them let the family go through this torture and still not relent was baffling.

Through all this, the one thing that kept me going was my love for Kabir and his unconditional support. We contemplated eloping a number of times but knew this step could have adverse effects so we kept delaying it.

convincing my parents for the man I loved

These two years were also a testing time for our relationship and I am glad we both came out strong. After the 2-year-long mental trauma of being ridiculed and shunned by my entire family, I am sure any guy would have walked out of the relationship. But Kabir stood by my side, tall and strong, and it was his trust in our relationship that gave me the strenght to carry on.

BannerYellow 500pxTwo years later my parents finally said yes. Don’t ask me what changed their mind but one fine day they finally gave in. And, as I mentioned earlier, the charmer that Kabir is, it took him no time to win their hearts and become the favourite damaad of the family!

Life right now is full of all the colours in the rainbow and even three years after the wedding, Kabir and I are still pretty much inseparable. :)

*Name changed to protect privacy.

Image: Shutterstock

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Published on Apr 08, 2016
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