7 Things To Avoid If You’re Ready To Talk To Him About Marriage
TanayaEditorial Coordinator, POPxo
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It doesn’t matter how long you have been dating for, whether it is your first date or your 100th date, there are some topics which would always psyche out either of you - and one of them is the big ‘M’ word. Honestly, many of us girls dream of getting married and as soon as we find our perfect guy, our world of daydreaming begins. Once you both have given enough time to your relationship, it is important to discuss with your partner what your future is going to be like - and ask him when he would be ready to take the relationship to the next level. Once you are ready to talk about marriage, it is always better to be open and clear about it rather than doing these things...
1. Don't avoid the conversation
Marriage is not a taboo subject and is not something that needs to be avoided. It is always better to discuss this topic and find out what you both think about it - whether you both have similar ideas and how important it is to the two of you as individuals. You don’t have to fix the date and time just yet, but it's important to know where your relationship is headed.
2. Don't try to be the “cool” girlfriend
Trying to show to him that you aren’t a demanding girlfriend or pretending that you are not ready to get married is not a good idea! This would just mean bottling up all your feelings, which would make you feel upset and frustrated. Girls! Please stop feeling guilty if you are ready to tie the knot and commit to your boyfriend for a lifetime. Dreaming about being proposed to won’t make it happen, right?
3. Don't drop hints
It seems really easy to drop hints. You can drop a hint and if a reaction comes your way, then you can easily get away from the situation pretending you never really said anything. But dropping hints doesn't really get anyone anything. It is better to have a mature discussion about such an important thing like marriage.
4. Don't compare your life to a friend’s
Marriage is about the two individuals and not anyone else. It is the two of you who need to live with each other and build a future together. The worst thing to do is to compare your love life to that of others. Girls, everyone is different and has a different way of expressing their love - you really don’t need to compare. If you are ready to take your relationship to another level, don’t mention it to him in context of your friend’s wedding pictures on Facebook. After all, you don’t want to make him feel that you want to get married just because your friends are!
5. Don't avoid his family
Just like you would want him to respect and love your parents and family, he too would want you to respect his parents and family. Yes, there might be certain things which would be different in his house and certain things you might have to accommodate - but that doesn’t mean that you’re giving in. It just means you need to make a few adjustments for yourself, for him and for the two of you! Once you are ready and you know he is the one you want to marry, stop avoiding his family and start making an effort with his family members. After all, they might be your family in the future too! :)
6. Don't make long term commitments to yourself
Making long term commitments to yourself about the future, that do not include him, might not be the best thing to do. If you do have such plans, make sure you talk to him beforehand and that you are both okay with it. Whether it’s for a long term course abroad, or relocating and shifting your job. If you are ready to talk about marriage, you need to start keeping him in mind as well and think about the impact your decisions could have on your relationship. You are equal partners after all, and he should be a part of all the important decisions you make. You would want him to do the same for and with you.
7. Don't doubt yourself
Once you have decided to share his life and make it a part of yours, don’t doubt your decision! You have obviously thought everything through, not once, but many, many times when you made this decision. So have faith in your decisions and never look back. Be proud of yourself, your choice, and obviously your man. ;)