From our experience of attending many, many weddings, we now know that some wedding stereotypes are actually...true. You might think that Bollywood movies exaggerate, or that people make these up, but no! We now actually look forward to these! We bet you’ll see some of these at every wedding.
1. People really care about the food
To the extent that some attend shaadis only for the food! They will compare menus, sample every dish and, when they catch hold of you, will have detailed recommendations for you. You can see them clustered around the buffet table with heaped plates. If you think no one can eat 5 desserts, you’re mistaken!
He’s very happy - for the bride, the groom, the families, every one! He’s making friends, breaking down the barriers between the two families. And he’ll drag everyone to the dance floor. By the end of the evening he might get a bit sentimental too. Your guests will come up to you and ask, “Who’s that man?” That’s one fun story that everyone will tell, even after the wedding!
2. There’s always one uncle who loves his drink
3. The aunty match-making network
...Is real! They have a list of eligible bachelors and bachlorettes and they are scoping out potential matches. They might catch hold of unsuspecting youngsters and grill them on the spot. And if they know the parents, they are very interested to know if, “Iski shaadi ke baare main socha hai aapne?”
4. The bride can’t escape the attention
Her lehenga, jewellery and makeup is scrutinised so closely. Everyone wants to know, “Is it real Sabyasachi ya copy? This colour combination really works for her! Family jewellery hai, you bought it or rented it? The makeup looks really good, no?” Just bask in the compliments.
5. Some guests will want to outshine the bride
So they come loaded with jewellery and chamak lehengas of their own! They provide all the other weddings guests with a lot of entertainment.
You will be the only guest who is never short of drinks and munchies throughout the night!
6. Slip a patta to the waiter, you’re sorted for the night
7. Cupid may strike one of your friends
Weddings are a gold mine for meeting new single people! There’s an immense amount of covert flirting that happens. There will be howl-worthy stories of who hooked with whom later on!
There will be one relative who will claim that they weren’t treated with ‘proper’ respect, and now the whole family is manaoing him. Just smile, humour them and carry on. After all, you meet them only at other weddings!
8. The door ke rishte waale mausaji is pissed off
9. Car-o-bar is actually in a car!
There’s always a bunch of uncles and youngsters clustered around the open boot of a car in the parking lot. They are extremely well supplied and very generous. A complete lifesaver at sober weddings!
We’ve heard tales of people getting hurt when trying to steal shoes, and how negotiations over shagun can go over an hour and involve some serious haggling skills!
10. Joota chupai and shagun negotiations can get intense
11. Shots fired!
If you have a relative who owns a charrewali gun, it’s going to make an appearance at the wedding. Suddenly you’ll hear a big *bang* - most common during the baraat or at the dulha’s entry.
GIFs: Tumblr, Giphy
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Published on Jan 30, 2016