Okay, so I may not exactly be turning 30 - yet! But, being on the cusp of my 25th birthday and having a few friends who have reached that milestone I can safely say that ch-ch-changes have definitely taken over my life in the last couple of years! Some stuff hasn’t changed at all though, right? Friendship is one of these such things that has both changed and not changed in the last decade or so! While we know (or sincerely hope at the very least), that our bestest of friends will be in our lives forever - there are things that change along the way… Here are some of the most noticeable changes!
1. Wherever, Whenever
Hanging out with the bestie took precedent over everything in my teen years and towards the beginning of my twenties as well. After all multitasking was easy - you could study together, get ready to go out together, and just hang all the time because, hey, youth! As your lifestyles change, though, it may not always be easy to schedule in a date with your besties - despite the fact that you really, really do miss each other!
2. Just The Two Of Us?
We all have that one friend who means more than anything to us, always has done and always will do. That inseparable bond that leads to hours spent together talking, watching TV and just being you guys. Of course boys come and go out of the picture, but in our 20s and 30s relationships enter the more serious phase. Embrace the new - remember that your memories will always take you back but dreams are what take you to the future! So be happy your friend has found someone to share that dream with (or that you have too!)
3. The LDR Bestie
This is the one that is very true for me and I think most people. Jobs, travel plans etc take us to different corners of the globe. But, what is distance when it comes to friendship?! The older we get the more things like FaceTime and Skype seem like the best tools on this planet! Remember to schedule in some quality virtual time with the bestie!
4. Bride, Bahu And Bollywood
You know when you log on to Facebook to find X has gotten engaged, Y has gotten married and now Z is even having her first baby?! Yeah, it happens to me on a monthly basis too! If your close friend is getting married - just be there for her! She’s going to be stressed out, she’s going to be going into a very new phase of life and (whether she realizes it or not) she’s going to need her girl by her side! So just embrace it all and be there - trust me on this one!
5. Baby Momma!
Three of my good friends are now moms. Does that mean we don’t hang out any more? Of course not! It just means that instead of planning holidays together and partying, we go for lunch. Or, I go around to her house in the evenings while she’s cooking dinner and hang out with her and her kid. Sometimes we even take the kids to the park! Circumstances change, friendships don’t!
6. Work It, Bitch!
I have one friend who has a successful app, one who has an online jewellery store, another who has launched her own startup, two currently pursuing their PHDs and many that have gone on to join their family business. Of course, I work too - but my work is different. It allows me to socialise a bit more. I think this is one of the most heavy changes that comes along in life as far as friendships go. In school or university, there is always something that keeps you guys on the same level. After this period where institutions govern your place in life, it’s difficult to know whether or not you are indeed in similar places. I think the best way to deal with this is to just keep hanging out with your friends, no matter the differences in your lifestyles and commitments that you have. Of course she or he may not be able to make it to your birthday party or something, but don’t take it as any love lost.
7. She Doesn’t Even Go Here...
After school, college and now starting working life - we tend to make a whole new spectrum of friends in our twenties. It’s confusing to know when to meet which people. Of course it would be perfect to meet them all at the same time and have them become friends with each other, but that doesn’t always work out! Aim to keep the conversation flowing with the old friends you don’t see as much - after all, you’d appreciate it if they did the same for you!
8. Sleepover No More
This one is very true of my younger days. I used to love sleepovers - having them and going to them! Most weekends would result in my friends coming over for a massive ice cream and movie marathon! Even in my teen years I would gladly sleep over at my best friends’ houses at the drop of a hat and invite them over to do the same. Now, though, I have work in the morning and my friends have gym or work or kids or an endless list of things that need to be dealt with in the morning or indeed the precious weekend off! Still, it’s always nice to curl up with friends and have a nice evening at home with a bottle of wine and the failsafe sleepover movie - Mean Girls!
9. It’s A Guy Thing
I have a lot of guy friends, I can’t help it - I just get on better with guys. I always have done. It was fine when I was a kid and even when I became a teenager. When I got into my twenties, though, my mum - a normally chilled out lady - told me to cool it a bit because of what people might think. Of course guys and girls can be friends - but it is true that the older you get and the more serious your romantic relationships get, the less you end up being best buds with your guy bestie. If it really is friendship, though, it won’t matter!
10. The Golden Rule
The best song in the world (for me), “Sunscreen”, offers some great advice on this, and that is to: “Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young!” These few words help me get by, I hope they do the same for you!