Before you commit to what could potentially be the biggest change of your life, make sure you’ve thought it through! Ask yourself these very important questions to understand your own mind better.
Rest assured you’re going to thank us later!
1. Is it peer pressure?
The world and its uncles are getting married, and you can’t help but feel a tad bit pressurized. All your friends seem to be in the same space (engaged, newly married or hoping to get married) and you might just be feeling left out.
2. Is it too many hours on Pinterest?
No, we are not even being funny - the wedding industry has grown by leaps and bounds in the last few years! So whether it’s that gorgeous wedding blog, or whether it’s the latest Dharma Productions movie, it’s totally normal to see those spectacular images and get tempted to want that for yourself in real life. Oh, and how can we forget, it could also be the many “productive” hours you spend on Pinterest planning your dream wedding. (Don’t worry, that board is secret – and yet we know!)
3. Is it just the idea of being married?
Everyone wants love and companionship; it’s truly what makes the world go round. But marriage is just so much more than two people who love each other staying together. Sure, that’s what it should ideally be - but marriage tests you as individuals and as a team, and more often than not people aren’t prepared for it. So when you think of getting married, think of the big picture – the more realistic picture.
4. Am I just bored in life?
You will be shocked at how many people get married because normal life and routine has just gotten a bit drab and monotonous. Promise us, that this will be the last possible reason you will agree to tie the knot – just because you are bored!
5. Am I ready for change?
Talk to any married person in the whole wide world, and they’ll all echo the same sentiment. Marriage brings with it a LOT of change! In India, we girls have already been “warned” of things that will change after marriage. In today’s day, this may or may not be true; we are empowered, working women after all! But even though marriage no longer brings with it subservience, it sure as hell still brings change. Are you ready for this?
6. How do I feel about compromises?
Let us break it down for you: no one gets everything on a platter. And no, your married friends are not going to come and reveal to you exactly how they have also made compromises. Because it’s part of the deal, and you just have to roll with it. We are not trying to scare you, but we are just letting it be known: marriage involves compromise.
7. Am I sure of spending the rest of my life with this person?
We really hope that when you read the question above, you had that “Duh! Obviously!” face on! Because if you didn’t, and if you have the slightest doubt that the guy you are with is not the one you can spend your life with, then you need to hold out till you are sure. Marriage is a commitment of a lifetime, and you don’t want to be taking those saath pheras
with one shaky foot in front of the other, or making those vows with your fingers crossed behind you.
8. Am I doing this for my parents?
Okay, you may not like this piece of advice, but we are going to keep it real as we always do with you. Do not get married “for” your parents. If your parents are concerned they are growing old and you haven’t settled down yet, then explain to them that you know what you are doing. Your parents raised you to be an empowered person, and when it comes to making sensible life decisions, you know you will manage that too. Don’t get married because it’s worrying your folks. Reassure them that you will do the deed when the time is right - for you.
9. Am I just going with the flow?
While it’s good to be easy-going darling, remember, only dead fish go with the flow. This is your whole life we are talking about here. If he asks the question, make an informed decision. Whether it’s a love marriage or an arranged one, make sure you know what you are getting into. Ask all the possible practical questions about the new life you are about to embark upon!
10. Do I want marriage or a wedding?
Your wedding is a few months of planning, followed by a five-day affair with a crazy bachelorette with all your besties, dance practices, glitzy cocktail nights, Bollywood-inspired sangeets, flower arrangements, shopping trips, food tastings, designer visits, ostentatious receptions and the works. Your marriage is what remains once all the guests have left. And it lasts a lifetime. Recognize, accept and embrace that difference.
GIFs: Tumblr, giphy
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All your friends seem to be getting married, and your Facebook newsfeed has basically just started to look like one big wedding album. Amidst all this, you don’t know if you are quite ready to settle down just yet. But the real question is: will you ever truly know?