mistakes to avoid when you are asking someone out

10 Rookie Mistakes to Avoid When You Are Trying to Ask Out Your Crush

Anasuya Ray Chaudhuri

Guest Contributor

So you’ve finally gathered up the courage to ask him out, after having sighed after him for so long. Good for you! But if you want him to say yes, and want it to be awesome, there are a few things you gotta keep in mind. Here are some mistakes to avoid when you are asking someone out!

1. Inviting him over to your house

Yes, we know it’s your comfort zone. But it’s not the best first-date location since you’re likely find yourself stuck between playing hostess and getting to know him better. Best to leave the hospitality to professionals, whether it’s at a restaurant or a pub or a movie or a cafe.

2. Setting an end-time to the date

You want to relax, hang out with him, see how the evening goes – and so does he. If you’re not having fun, you can always bail out. But if it’s going great, you don’t want to have to leave in the middle of things. And you don’t want him to think you’re putting him on a deadline!

mistakes to avoid when you are asking someone out

3. Being over-eager

If you ask him, and he’s busy, then just say “Cool, maybe another time, then” – no matter how disappointed you are. Give it a few days before you bring it up again, else you’re going to come across as super-pushy.

mistakes to avoid when you are asking someone out

4. Inviting yourself over to his house

Now that IS super-pushy. Offer to meet him at a neutral location. Go to his place only if he proposes it as the venue.

5. Playing it too cool

We’ve advised you to not be over-eager, yes, but don’t sound totally indifferent either! He should be able to understand that you’re actively interested in his company. In your effort to be all casual, don’t end up saying something like “Oh, I thought we could get a drink since I don’t have anything else to do that day.” No one wants to feel like he’s your backup plan.

mistakes to avoid when you are asking someone out

6. Asking him out via a third party

Trust us, you’re going to drive yourself nuts while you wait for your message to be delivered, and then answered! Just pick up the phone and ask him yourself. And if you think you can’t get up the nerve, send a text or an email. Be confident. He will appreciate that way more than the weirdness of being asked out by someone else on behalf of you!

7. Cancelling (unless it is a desperate emergency!)

Nothing says “I’m not all that interested” louder than a cancellation. If you work long hours, or have some kind of office crisis happening, make sure you ask him out on a holiday. Calling him at 7 p.m. and telling him you’re not going to show up at 8 p.m. will not make him want to be eager to meet you the next time you ask.

mistakes to avoid when you are asking someone out

8. Talking about bad dates

Don’t bring up bad dates as a build-up to this all-important conversation, even if your experiences have been hilarious! You’re going to make him worry that the one you’re asking him out on might just be disastrous.

9. Leaving it ambiguous

Please be clear about the fact that you’re asking him out on a date, and not just to grab a bite or catch a movie as a friend. If he goes out with you thinking that this is just a friendly hangout session, and then you make a move on him out of the blue, it could get super-awkward super-quick.

mistakes to avoid when you are asking someone out

10. Asking him he wants to bring any of his friends along

Girl, you’re trying to go out on a date with him. So once he’s said yes, don’t go giving him mixed signals, even if you’re super-nervous and feel like backing out because you’re worried about ruining it. (Also, he’ll probably think you’re crazy.)

GIFs: Giphy, Tumblr

MUST-READ: #ARGH: 10 Things about Your Ex That Will ALWAYS Annoy You

MUST-READ: 11 Things You Should Never Do on a First Date

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Published on Jan 16, 2015
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