It’s FINALLY here. The final Avengers that Marvel fans have been waiting for. On my way to the theatre, I was excited and nervous at the same time. What if I was disappointed by the movie?
The last movie ended with Thanos acquiring all the infinity stones and wiping out half the universe. Will the remaining Avengers manage to reverse his actions? Read on to find out about all the twisted thoughts I had while watching Avengers: Endgame!
Warning: Many, many spoilers ahead…
1. The movie opens with Iron Man in space, being sad and talking to his helmet. I’m guessing this is right after Thanos wiped off half the population of the universe.
2. More of Tony Stark being glum when…there’s suddenly a bright flash of light and it’s…Captain Marvel!
3. Captain Marvel rescues Tony and Nebula’s ship and brings it back home to earth, where he reunites with the remaining glum-looking Avengers.
4. “Where are you going,” Captain America asks. “To kill Thanos,” says Captain Marvel. You go, Carol!
5. Now the remaining Avengers are on a spaceship, going to ‘get Thanos”. Who, after wiping out half the universe, is living a rustic “retiree” life in a place that looks like The Shire from The Lord Of The Rings?
6. The Avengers come and grab him. It’s suspicious how easy it was to find him. Oh no, he doesn’t seem to have the infinity stones!
7. HOLY SHIT THANOS DESTROYED THE STONES.
8. OHMYFUCKINGGOD THOR JUST SLICED THANOS’ HEAD OFF. WHAT?!
9. The movie skips to five years later. Steve Rogers is in a support group, talking about the importance of moving on. Maybe take your own advice sometimes, Captain?
10. Okay, where did ant-man come from? I thought he was dead! How did he just pop out of a machine kept in an abandoned storage unit? I need answers!!
11. Wow. There are mass graves under the Golden Gate Bridge. I’m guessing they belong to the people who disappeared after Thanos used the infinity stones.
12. The Avengers are having a meeting and even five years later, they couldn’t bring back everyone they’ve lost. But I’m laughing out loud at Carol calling Rocket “fur face.” Also, she’s ROCKING the pixie cut!
13. So Ant-Man just explained that he had disappeared due to something related to quantum physics. But while he was gone for five years, to him it was just 5 hours. Did he just describe time travel?
14. Okay, they’ve decided that they’re going to try to go back in time and stop Thanos. Kinda disappointed. Is this a Bollywood movie?
15. Oh my god, Iron Man lives in a house by a lake and has a daughter! And she’s adorable, wearing his helmet and all.
16. Tony Stark thinks Ant-Man’s time travel plan is rubbish too. Same, Stark.
17. Now they’re all having lunch with the Hulk, and he’s like…super chill now. Taking pictures with fans and all. And he’s wearing a shirt!
18. Okay, so Tony didn’t wanna get involved in the time travel idea, but then he figured out how to do it…just like that? Really?
19. The rest of the Avengers are testing out time travel, and they’ve sent Scott aka Ant-Man a week back in time…He comes back as a kid. And then as an old person. And then a toddler. This time travel idea isn’t going too smooth, guys.
20. Of course, Tony’s here to help them now..with a time travel GPS. Whoop Whoop!
21. OH MY GOD, THOR HAS A POT BELLY. HOW DO I UNSEE THIS?!
22. “You look like melted ice cream!” Rocket, isn’t wrong, Thor.
23. There’s a Hawkeye and Black Widow reunion in Japan. She convinces him to come back.
24. Okay, so Clint is the first one to test-run the time travel now. Aaaaand he tries to contact his family. That’s against the rules, you can’t do that! But hey, at least the test run was successful.
25. Hulk eating ice cream straight from the tub is a whole mood.
26. The Avengers have divided themselves into teams to go back and retrieve the infinity stones from different years in time. Before Thanos gets his hands on them. This plan better work!
27. Rocket and Thor return to Asgard in the year 2013 and hey look, there’s Loki! Still alive.
28. Awwww. Thor’s having a meltdown and Rocket gives him a pep talk. And then slaps him when he’s having a panic attack. Talk about tough love.
29. LOL Tony Stark just flicked Ant-Man away to get the stone. Flicked!
30. It’s funny to see the past angry Hulk now. But I see where he gets it from. They all get into the elevator but make him take the stairs! Such bullies!
31. Tony ALMOST had the case but no, Loki took it! Couldn’t you have stayed dead, Loki?
32. Okay, so Bruce aka Hulk managed to get to the time stone. Five more to go!
33. Thor’s mother knew he was from the future! And they have a sweet moment together. Awwww.
34. And Thor gets his hammer back! He’s worthy! I hope this means no more Thor meltdowns!
35. No no no no! Nebula got one of the stones but couldn’t travel back! Thanos is using Nebula from the past to access her future memories.
36. And THERE it is. Stan Lee’s cameo. It’s the year 1970 in New Jersey, and he’s driving around a swanky car with a young blonde.
37. Tony runs into his father Howard. So many family reunions!
38. And Steve sees Peggy! She has a picture of him on her desk. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
39. Past Nebula has captured future Nebula. Oh shit, she’s gonna go back as future Nebula and rejoin the Avengers as Thanos’ mole!
40. Okay, things just go serious. Either Natasha or Clint has to die in order for them to get the soul stone. And now they’re fighting each other because they both want to sacrifice themselves. Come on guys, couldn’t you just flip a coin like normal people?
41. Noooo Natashaaaaaaa!! I can’t believe they actually killed her! I wonder how many Avengers they’re gonna kill in this movie.
42. They all return to the present and Clint tells them Natasha didn’t make it. Chill Hulk is sad Hulk now…
43. Well, at least they got all the infinity stones back.
44. Okay, the stones have all been put on the glove. But something’s definitely gonna go wrong. It can’t be so easy. Remember Good Nebula’s been replaced by Evil Nebula, who’s a spy for Thanos? She’s going to ruin something.
45. Okay, Hulk wore the glove and used the power of the stones to bring back everyone who disappeared. But did it actually work?
46. And now they’re being bombed. By Thanos from the past, I’m guessing. Yup, it’s Thanos.
47. While Thanos is busy destroying the place, Gamora tells captured Good Nebula that she’s gonna help her! YAY!
48. Okay, so Thanos says that instead of wiping out half the universe, this time he’s going to destroy everything. WTF?!
49. Oh no, Evil Nebula has the stones!!!! And ooooh Gamora just shot her dead. But wait, how can she still be alive if she shot her past self? I don’t get it. I’m just going to suspend my belief here.
50. Oh my god, Steve Rogers just picked up Thor’s hammer! He’s worthy!
51. Okay. Turns out Thanos didn’t come alone. He brought along an army of millions of creepy alien creature warriors.
52. Oh my god everyone’s back! Including the remaining Avengers. WOOHOO!!
53. So the Avengers’ collective army is gonna fight Thanos’s creepy alien army! Okay, I already know who’s gonna win.
54. Okay, they’re gonna restart the van Ant-man came in and sent Thanos back. Good idea, though it seems impossible considering it’s in the middle of the battlefield.
55. This battle scene kinda seems like a match of American football tbh. Everyone is tossing around the glove with the stones like a ball.
56. OKAY CAROL JUST ENTERED THE EARTH’S ATMOSPHERE AND BASICALLY DESTROYED THANOS’ MONSTER SHIP! GO CAPTAIN MARVEL!
57. NO NO NO THANOS WORE THE GLOVE WITH THE STONES AGAIN AND CAROL COULDN’T STOP HIM!
58. Whohooo! Just as Thanos snapped his fingers, he realised that Tony Stark took the stones from him! Wait, but Tony isn’t powerful enough to use the stones! Does this mean he’s gonna die?
59. Well, at least Thanos and his party is gone.
60. NOOOOOOOO Tony is dying. He has a family now, he can’t die!
61. Tony recorded a message for his family in case he died, and they’re playing it before his funeral…I can’t take this.
62. Steve is going back to return the stones. And he didn’t come back.
63. Okay, wait he did. And he’s old now. Like, REALLY old! And is that a wedding ring on his finger?!
64. Awww he went back in time and married Peggy. At least this movie had a happy ending. Well, sort of.
65. The credits are rolling in and so many people get up to leave. Are they not Marvel fans? Don’t they wanna wait for the post-credits scene?
66. Okaaaay. The credits have been rolling for too long. There’s gonna be a post-credits scene, right? RIGHT?! COME ON MARVEL DON’T DO THIS TO ME!
67. So there was no post-credits scene. I feel empty. I can’t believe it’s over. It’s the end of an era. Now all I can do is watch the movie 49603732 times again…
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