All those months of planning are finally over, the whole 3-day hoopla went by in a blur, and you’re officially man and wife. With so much focus on the wedding, no one really tells you how to behave with your husband on your first night as “wife”. Whether you’re just starting out on the first night together in an arranged marriage, or the two of you have slept together before, this is your “official” first night – and it can be exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. So here are some things every girl should know about her suhagraat – a little wisdom and a few wedding night tips for the Indian bride!
1. You may not actually consummate your marriage on your wedding night…
Because you’re so tired from all the ceremonies and stuff. Don’t worry, it’s normal. MANY just-married couples feel that way. It’s okay to just talk and cuddle. Besides, what is the first honeymoon night for? 😉
2. It’s going to take roughly 30 minutes to remove your bridal ensemble and jewellery.
3. Be sure to remove all of the 100 pins in your hair before getting into bed.
You don’t want to be distracted by a sudden painful poke or tug at your scalp just as you’re getting started…
4. Your wedding night doesn’t needed to be perfect and straight out of a Bollywood movie…
That rarely happens in real life. Remember, it’s just the start of a lifetime of great nights ahead.
5. If your period dates coincide with your wedding (and this is quite likely to happen), remember to consult a gynaecologist.
And check about an oral contraceptive that can bring forward/delay your period by a week. If you’re not keen on doing that, be sure to discreetly have a word with your hubby-to-be!
6. Get all your tests done. And make sure your fiance gets them done too.
Test for STDs and infections, obviously, but also for hereditary factors that might affect conception. Most hospitals offer premarital check-up pagackes.
7. It’s not necessary for you to have sex on the first night after the wedding, or even in the first week.
This is especially true for arranged marriages. Wait till you’re comfortable to have sex with your hubby – whether it is 30 minutes or 30 days.
8. It might be very awkward!
Maybe the two of you have slept together loads of times before, or maybe you’ve been saving yourself for the wedding night – either way, it’s normal to feel shy and embarrassed. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with your husband – he’s probably nervous too.
9. You don’t need to act like a demure, shy bride if you aren’t really feeling demure or shy.
It’s healthy to be open and voice what you want.
10. Discuss birth control issues with your fiance before-hand – you need to be on the same page when it comes to the “when to start baby-making” subject.
If it’s an arranged marriage, and you’re finding it difficult to have this conversation with him, find intermediaries. Talk to your mother or aunt – someone who can talk to his mother or his aunt. This discussion must be had!
11. Set up an appointment with a gynaecologist about birth control and all possible issues relating to sex and reproduction.
Make sure it’s a catch-all consultation – you don’t want to be forgetting anything important. In an ideal scenario, you should be able to get your fiance to be part of a follow-up appointment too.
12. One of the best first night tips Remember: Whatever happens, it’s not just about sex.
A marriage is built on trust and emotional intimacy – connecting on a mental level is just as important as connecting on a physical level.