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It’s Not Okay! 12 Questions You Should Never Ask Your LGBTQIA Friends

khushboo sharmakhushboo sharma  |  Jun 3, 2021
It’s Not Okay! 12 Questions You Should Never Ask Your LGBTQIA Friends

So fam, here is the thing–most of us weren’t taught about how to behave around queer people. Blame it on our society’s heteronormative ideas and aversion to anything that isn’t as straight as your precision scale. But before that take your part of the responsibility i.e. learn how to behave around your LGBTQIA+ friends and acquaintances. Rule #1 is actually quite simple–treat them just like you’d treat any of your cis friends. And while you are at it, here are some questions that you should absolutely ABSOLUTELY steer clear of: 

12 Questions That You Should NEVER Ask Your Queer Friends

Please be a decent person and never ask these 12 questions from your queer friends: 

So What Are Your ‘Preferred’ Pronouns?

Asking a queer person about their “preferred” pronouns is literally the most terrible way of starting a conversation. Pronouns aren’t “preferred.” They are either correct or incorrect. The best way to navigate this conversation is first telling people your pronoun and then asking about theirs. You can ask something like: “Hi, my name is Khushboo. I go by she and her. What about you?”

So Do You Have a Fully Functional Vagina/Penis?

It is not okay to ask trans people questions about their genitals. Actually, answer this: would you be okay if someone asks you to describe how exactly you look like down there? It’s simply inappropriate. 

Are You Done With The “Operation”?

Stop asking trans people if they have undergone sex reassignment surgery (SRS). It is a choice, not a necessity. Not all trans people opt for SRS and every time you ask them questions about it, you are basically insinuating that their identity remains incomplete until they go for it. Please don’t be that inconsiderate jerk.

So How Does It Work In Bed? Are You On Top Or Bottom?

Stop asking people questions about their sex life or who they are attracted to even if you don’t have any qualms about discussing yours. Be it cis or queer folks, it is never okay to ask such deeply personal questions. Their sexuality isn’t the entirety of their existence. Neither is yours. There is so much else that you can talk about! 

You Are Gay??? But Why Don’t You Look Like That?

No matter what crap years of TV might have stuffed into your head, queer people are not supposed to look a certain way. So, spare yourself some embarrassment the next time a muscular man tells you that he is gay and you are about to go all “But, why don’t you look gay?!” Please don’t do that for your own good. It just sounds dumb AF. 

Are You Sure?

Don’t ask queer people if they are sure about their gender or sexuality. Also, stop asking if it is just a phase. Be better. Do some reading. 

You Are Toh Bisexual. It Must Be Easier For You Na?

I hate to break this to you but sweetie life is hard and finding true love, pretty rare. To put it the other way–please don’t ask bisexual people if it is easier for them to find a partner. Just jet them be. Easy!

Sex Is The Best. How Do You Live Without It?

I can’t believe this needs to be stated out but damn, stop harassing your asexual friends with questions pertaining to sex. I have seen it live and it does not look good. 

So You Can Fall In Love With ANYONE?

Yea, next time someone tells you that they are pansexual, you are so not asking this question. 

Who’s The Man In The Relationship?

Firstly, why does it matter? Secondly, stop supporting patriarchy with these nonsensical questions. There can be more than one man in a relationship or there doesn’t have to be one at all. 

What Is The Meaning Of *Insert Term*?

Stop asking queer people the meaning of worlds particular to the LGBTQIA+ community. Do the research yourself, sweetie. Well, at least until you are paying tuition fees to your queer friends to educate you. 

How Did You Come Out?

Coming out can be an emotionally taxing experience for so many. That’s why it would be awesome if you stop nonchalantly asking your queer friends about their coming out “story.” Please, back off. 

See, it isn’t that hard after all. Is it? 

Featured Image: Instagram