Dear girls, we know how hard it is to decipher if the boy you like (SO much!) is into the relationship as much as you are. While you may have the names of your babies picked out, it’s wise to first check if the boy in question is also looking at the long haul! We will admit, this isn’t easy to find out, but then there are the signs – the surefire, telltale signs -that can answer your question: is he serious about you? Look out for these, and soon enough you will know if Mr Right is just Mr Right Now!
Wait, let us explain. It’s totally okay to go out partying together. And if you both like clubbing, then that’s awesome. But here’s the real question: are these the only type of dates you go on? Are there any dates that involve just talking and getting to know each other? If the answer is no, then that’s something to think about. Maybe you should propose the idea of a dinner followed by a long drive and ice cream. See whether he’s up for this kind of date – a guy who sees a future with you will like spending time with you, no matter what sort of date.
Does this guy show any interest in your personal life? Does he give you a patient ear when you need to vent about your tough day, or the horrible fight you had with your sibling? Don’t get us wrong – this does NOT mean you should have the license to crib all day long. It just means that when you do genuinely need to talk, he will be there to hear you out – woes, rants, et al.
If the guy is serious about you, he will make you meet his best friends or family. This is a fact, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Yes, some boys come from conservative families and they can’t reveal at home that they are seeing someone, and we by no means are asking you to force yourself upon his family! But he may have a sibling or even a best friend who is important to him, one whom he can introduce you to. This one’s a clear indication that he is serious about you – serious enough to want his closest people to get to know the girl he likes.
No, we are not expecting him to talk about your wedding and what the two of you will wear, because let’s be real – that’s super-idealistic of you to want. Also, it doesn’t have to be that much into the future! Sometimes – and this is something all girls need to get on board with – guys are shy too. So don’t expect him to start talking about things like marriage, and don’t judge him for not dreaming of a big, fat wedding. Instead, pay attention… Does he talk about his life in the next few years? Does this life include you? Now these are definitely signs you can look out for!
To be more specific, does he avoid you when you are unwell or down in the dumps? Can he not handle your PMS? This may not seem like an issue right now, but it’s an indication that he hasn’t thought too much into the future and he just wants to hang out and have fun – nothing more. When a guy is serious about a girl, he takes the good days with the bad ones – and doesn’t make it feel like he’s doing you any favours!
Say you don’t feel like stepping out on a certain evening, or you would rather have a low-key plan than a crazy one – does he get pissed off, or does he try and understand why you would like to change the plan? If his response is to just cancel altogether and go off on his own to do stuff with other people, then that’s something to think about.
Sometimes it’s so damn tempting to just have fun and go with the flow; but you and your man must have some real conversations too. A serious relationship is built not only on fun and adventure but on shared goals, hopes and dreams. Take some time to explore each other’s minds – for all you know, you will fall for him even more once you get to know his!
Okay, real-talk time, girls! Yes, it’s important that you two are attracted to each other and it’s awesome if you share a great intimacy too. But if this is the only time that you two really connect, then there’s something to worry about! If this is the only time he treats you well, or cares about your needs…then it’s very likely that it’s all that he wants from this relationship. Sometimes, when the chemistry is that good, we tend to overlook all the other factors; but the truth is such relationships seldom work out in the long run. We know this is a little hard to accept, but that’s life, right? Live and learn! 🙂
Is it you who is always calling or messaging or making a plan? Do you feel like if you don’t message for a couple of days it’s unlikely that you will hear from him? Are you convinced that if you don’t make the effort he won’t either? We’re sorry to break it to you, ladies, but if the answer to these questions is in the affirmative, then it’s probably bad news. Remember: don’t ever sell yourself short! Don’t make him a priority if you are just an option to him.