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7 Women Reveal *Hilarious* Reasons For Breaking Up With Their Exes!

7 Women Reveal *Hilarious* Reasons For Breaking Up With Their Exes!

When it comes to love, we’ve all had our share of misfortunes. Some worth remembering and a few, well, not so much! Ever went out with someone who seemed absolutely perfect for you in the beginning but as you delved deeper into his mind, you almost wished that you didn’t? Ever dated a guy whose habits STILL make you cringe? Ever fell for someone who you’d never like to admit but your friends will never let you forget? If you nodded yes to any of these mortifying questions, well, you’re not alone sister!

Curious To Know Who Sailed In The Same Boat As You?

We got 7 women to reveal the most hilarious reasons why they broke up with someone. So make some popcorn, kick back and get ready to laugh-out-loud!

“He spat out his food – not once, not twice but THRICE!”

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“I loved the fact that he was a foodie. Unlike others that I knew back then, he wasn’t the kind to judge me if I ate one meal after another without any guilt. He made me want to explore every cuisine and every new restaurant. Unfortunately, all my plans came crashing down when I noticed how he ate. I ignored it at first, but it got really embarrassing when we were out in a group. It wasn’t even the fact that he ate with his mouth open or the noise that he made. But one day, as he was munching down his malai koftas, he spat on the plate! Not once, not twice but THRICE! I was too embarrassed to react for a few seconds but the fact that he knew what he did and laughed it off instead of apologising, made me lose my appetite.”

“I noticed his long zulfein curling out…”

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“I’m usually not the kind to judge anyone but this one guy I dated back in school, had REALLY long… wait for it… nose hair. Like, not just the kind you would end up noticing once in a while but the horrifying kind that makes you want to go up to him and ask if he’s ever heard of the revolutionary invention of scissors. I was scared that I would end up hurting his feelings if I said anything, so I quietly dealt with it for a while. But when we kissed for the first time and I accidentally opened my eyes while we did, his nostrils flared up and I noticed his long zulfein curling out. I broke up with him soon after.”

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“How was I supposed to moan his name during sex?”

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“I once broke up with a guy who had the same name as my brother. I know it sounds stupid, but easier said than done. How was I supposed to moan his name during sex or use it during my lovey-dovey confessions without thinking of my annoying little brother? ‘Nuff said.”

“He was a serial KISSER!”

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“I once dated this guy who was a big-time smoocher! Don’t get me wrong. He had a wonderful personality. But all he ever did when we were together was kiss! I think I explored almost all kinds of kisses with him. In the beginning, it felt great. But soon, I felt exhausted. Even my lips were starting to get chapped. He was a serial KISSER! He wouldn’t even make out simultaneously or use it as foreplay to take things ahead. I felt like a piece of meat whom he slobbered all over like a hungry/horny puppy!”

“Can I kissy on your lippy?”

“He was my crush-turned-boyfriend. We were friends for a few months before I admitted to like him and realised that he felt the same! Little did I know that he’d be my worse nightmare come true. For a while, I couldn’t digest the fact that someone who was born with such a sexy, coarse voice and strong personality could let all that go and turn into this cheesy, corny mushball in love. He wouldn’t even speak to me like a normal person. His voice was always squeaky and weird and he’d talk me into speaking to each other in an irritating, baby voice ALL THE TIME. He thought it was cute. One day, he wanted to ask me if he could kiss me. Instead, he decided to go with, “Can I kissy on your lippy?”. And that was the end of my patience.”

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“Long story short, he was indecisive AF!”

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“I was in the second year of college when I dated this cute guy in my batch for a while. Long story short, he was indecisive AF. Whenever we’d go out on a date, he would take hours to make the simplest of choices. What to do, where to go, where to eat, WHAT to eat – I was the decision-maker for every single thing. His classic response would be “I’m cool with anything” or “I’m confused”. It used to drive me nuts! Later, I found out that he still had feelings for his ex but loved me too. Brownie points for guessing what he said.”

“It was as if a siren or fire alarm went off…”

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“My ex was actually perfect. He was smart, sensitive and sexy. A girl knows how difficult it is to find someone with that trifecta, don’t we? How could I not like him? But I swear, I’m not making this up when I tell you that this guy’s laugh had the ability to make EVERYONE forget what they were doing. It was as if a siren or fire alarm went off and ended with a loooong nasal stretch of breath to give a final warning. After a while, it was just too annoying to live with.”

What is the strangest, most hilarious reason that you broke up with your boyfriend for? Let us know!

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08 Aug 2019

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