Let me tell you a story…
"You're studying literature? Wouldn't a smart girl like you want to pursue something else, may be finance, or business? And what do you do with a degree in that field? Become a teacher and live on a salary of a few thousands? These, accompanied by raised eyebrows and long periods of silence, were some of the typical responses I received when I told people that I’m pursuing a degree in arts. The disappointed expressions and replies often made me question my decision to pursue what I enjoyed studying the most. My mind was often filled with doubt, conflicting thoughts and immense insecurity about my career. I became extremely underconfident and my self-esteem hit rock bottom. I felt I had ‘wasted’ my life.
As women, we’ve all had that ‘awkward’ phase in life where we have felt ‘insecure’ or, simply uncertain about oneself. It may be because of our body shape, our skin colour, our ‘not-so-wholesome’ childhood, may be failed relationships, so many reasons. But, the fact of the matter remains that no one has been immune. Here are 5 women from team POPxo who opened up about their fears and insecurities in life… Read them because well, they’re as real as you and me.
1. “I have always been insecure about the way I look. I never really felt beautiful. There was a time when I didn’t step out of the house without some foundation on, some kajal. I was that uncomfortable in my own skin.”- Samira Badhwar, Senior Script Writer, Comedy
2. “Growing up I didn’t have a father. I used to feel insecure while looking at other kids playing with their fathers. I always felt that void that I couldn’t express.”- Roshni Bhatia, Fashion Video Producer
3. “I have the fear of being alone. I feel that the ones that I love the most might think that I am not good enough for them”- Noor Bahl, Junior Fashion Stylist
4. “I went through a series of relationships and they all ended up broken. I always blamed myself because I thought there was something wrong with me considering the fact that every guy was different but I was the one in it who was the same.”- Akshita Bagai, Senior Manager, Plixxo
5. “When I compare myself to other people, something or the other will always be not good enough. Maybe I won’t be able to hold a conversation when I’m at a party or they won’t find me interesting enough.”- Ragini Kapoor, Sales Manager
6. "My mother fell sick when I was 5 years old and realised for a girl, especially. her mother is a person you idolize - a mentor, or guide - and I didn't have that. Her absence in the house had impacted me in a way that I became a weird child." - Upalina Gupta, Senior Stylist
Insecurities are real and their main cause is that we don’t recognise our self worth. We let our worth be determined by external factors - people and circumstances. I remember the time when in the dread of disconcerted opinions about my education, I started saying that I’m going to take up an MBA but deep in my heart I didn’t want to. Thankfully I realised that my passion for art is strong enough to be unshaken by people’s opinions.
We need to believe in ourselves; even in the darkest of nights. We need to know that tunnels eventually open out to light, however long and murky they may be. Nothing holds us back like our own insecurities and the only way out is honouring who we are. We need to stop caring so much about what others think of us and instead start embracing who we are and what we want.